Who Is Mike Jones?
Pretty fat rager party at my crib this last weekend, my humble abode, packed, like a fat man in a very small jacket, blubber bursting out of the zipper. chics in tight jeans, a guy who eatscool beans, and two more pairs of jeans. Liquid was scarce at this particular function, Joe managed to find a dilute drink to satisfy his mangina. I looked on. Jazz flute and Smirnoff Twist are for little…fairy…boys. Quoted. Ruff managed to smuggle in some shit from China, some shit from China that came from a exceptionally large can. Perhaps you noticed this photo, that was the gruesome aftermath of this event ( 4.1 mb ) . So remember kids, don’t try to smash a huge can on your dome unless you want a big stupid facial laceration. Always wear protection. Be careful when using that rubber rope thing that is capable of whipping the eyeball out of your eyeball socket. Don’t touch momma’s reaching stick. When all else fails, jus chill with your home dog.
Speakin of that crazy rottweiler / German shepard of mine…We dressed her up. As a bumble bee, as batman, and the devil too. Now how many of you can you spent a Thursday evening dressing up your peach miniature poodle in not jus one but three cute lil outfits? Go on…raise your hands.
So aside from keeping you up to date with my affairs as a high school senior, I decided to bring back all the old photos from my Freshman and Sophomore year and compile them into one conveniant folder. This one, this folder right here baby, the new home to more than a lot of photos that spell out the life in the times, the struggles, the good times, the lack of short term memory, and the good times. Take this old one of Randy for examplehe had three slices of pizza in his grill, at that time. That’s pretty marvelous. Member that day we rocked the stashes before we could grow our own? Member the hoes? Member when I chugged all that robotussin and my head got all weird? How bout when my upstairs neighbor left his water on and flooded my house so the fire deptartment came to bust open his door. Dramatic. Jus check em out.
And don’t think I forgot to mention the CURRENT school pics, these bad boys right here. The one of hoisting up a random freshman ( obviously I dint learn shit from Natalie ) and obviously that freshman wasn’t random if she was Ash’ms lil sissy poo. Poptart kicks the hump of a thousand camels when he directs traffic in the morning, for that I applaud him. I dislike rolly backpacks for the simple fact that they obstruct my path which requires the utmost space to accomodate my lengthy strides. I DO like the guy on the left, I mean hes got it down, I wanna take him to lunch. I despice being in the company of people taller than I, so when I get the apportunity to stand beside my good friend Shell Fish, I don’t pass it up.
So thats all for now, I have a job interview tommorow for some little computer networking company in Redwood City, if you were that one armless girl I would ask you cross your fingers but…ya know. As you probably noticed I tweaked the CSS of the photo gallery and cleaned up the video section a bit. Thats jus the beginning. Bitches.
– Stewie Griffin Soundboard
– Rocky Re-Enactment
– Watermelon Art
– NBHQ Myspace
My Site Kicks Ass, Your All Bitchin
So this is the new layout, I wouldn’t say it’s completely finished, but the main page is up and that shit counts for somethin. Second week of my last year of high school already, and my birthday is tommorow followed by a crackin ass reception on Saturday which I will definately take pics of. So I thought I’d finally take some time to recollect the classics that made / make NBHQ.NET what it is. For example, remember when Kelly’s car got seran wrapped like Matty’s carrots in his lunch. Or how bout that badass drawing Travis did that he spent everyday on, every period for almost two weeks. Heres an old shot of me and Ash in Eeb’s ride back when it was new and I still had really, really spectacular hair. Heres what Dawkness’ boxers looked like after he was brutally ass raped by this beefy fellow. Than there was that one summer when my buddies and I hotwired a lawn mower and toured the country. I remember back when Pinky lived in his old crib, we’d stroll up and down the El Camino, stoppin to chill with this opinionated gent, and of course, being liberal ass Cali-forn-I.A. ians agree with him. We also honk if were horny. *MEEP MEEP* It’s important to show your momma some love sometimes, specially when she puts up with your shit, and does your laundry, and makes your lunch with 18 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches cause your a growing boy. Than there was that car show some years back, where Eebs, Cahill and myself checked out some altitude challenged breezies and some cars probably too.
And who could forget thefans, the ketchup squirting, chest dedicating, artsy fartsy sons a bitches. The pink ones, dawk ones, tall ones, and the unsure ones. I love em all
A quick word : click my google ads on the right and bottom of the page, it makes me money so I can buy the NBHQ shirts I’ve been talkin about for you guys. Feel free to check the cool new navigation thing out but don’t click anything quite yet cause none of it is uploaded except for the radio and guestbook, which I suggest you listen to and sign. Thank you that is all, peep these links:
– Bobbing fo Crack
– Wonka is MJ!
– NBHQ Google
– Listen to Saturn
– Glowing Boobies
Heyyyyyy It’s Our Buddy!
I’ts been sommore of the same as of late, goin to the gym everyday, self breast augmentation seems to be the way to go, I am benchpressing my way to B-Cups, curling my way to stretched out shirts. Ruff stopped by the other night, we walked down the hill in hopes of salvaging a uneventful Wednesday night and returned home with no avail. We made the most of our time and I busted out the ‘ol nintendo from the garage with a couple vintage cartridges. It’s been quite a while since I fiddled with that little grey box of joy, I forgot what a laborious fuckin task it is to get that sonofabitch workin, and Ruff’s limited expertise were’nt makin things much easier. Hoppin on mushrooms made it all worth the while.
Other than that, I’ve been kickin it with The Marauders for some days and some eves. Ridin shotty to some late night fly rides in this beaut right here, but thats jus until my car gets out the shop, oh did I mention I’m drivin now? Permit status bia. Anyway me and the boys could have been seen hoppin around on the 5-story, makin a ruckus, hittin people with cars ( 6.9 mb video ) and what not. But mostly jus jumpin and posin. Than we have Joe, our fearless driver, notice his cholarraised for heightened douschness and even Ian is in agreeance on that one…Stick to what you know Joe, advanced car audio repair, and watch out for hungry trunks and people highly prone to picking other people up.
We had ourselves a little jam session as well, and I met Matty, pretty G for a bitch. I took this hella artsy pic of Ian looking like he’s about seven feet tall. Shortly after Ian returned the favor and took this equally artistic shot of me makin a fishy guitar face. Lotta soulful acoustic stuff, Ian hit his pad while Joe cuddled in the other room oblivious to hidden cameras. G’times I say!
So this is the new layout, dropped ahead of schedule right in time for the first day of summer eh? Don’t worry if it loads slow or some shit doesn’t look quite right, it still has a lotta kinks/bugs that I am in the process of working out, like the text link colors on every other page except for this one need to be fixed. Other than that though…pretty much all the content pages are up, and I updated a lot of em too, so go through and check out every page using the drop down menu. Especially the Videos Section and Reviews Section Keep checking back for updates though, and leave a comment and tell me what you think so far.
– he…raped..a.dog…
– Name that Oldass Game
– The GoodYear Blimp Crashed
– Ghetto Ass A.C.
– Korean Children’s Drawings
– Monster Potatoe Gun
– altoids mp3 player
Not a Bad Three Days Eh?
Well, I should probably start this post by apologizing to my very important fans, more specifically : Ash’ms, Em and Megan. Lets see now, so much happend since the last school bells wrang, since I scribbled in my last god damned bubble. Last couple days of my Junior Year, I brought my camera snapped ones with my boys and another one throwin up the pinky. Heres one of Mr. Dennis and I depicting our vast heigh differential. One last glimpse at this sexy mofo, one last hoorah with The Murph, one last chuckle as Pat shits himself trying to get 9 tonnes up on the bench, one last sight of Oliver lit off his ass, these pics speak forever though< (103 pics ). Congratulations Class of 2005, you will be missed, we’ll be sure to take care of your school for ya.
Bare with me now, the whole NBHQ Photo Gallery has been beefed up to contain more than ONE THOUSAND photos, more than 200 of which have been added within the last couple of days, so I got a lot to post about ;P. I’ll try to make things as chronologically accurate as my dwindling state of mind allows ( it is now 1:40 A.M. ). Second to last day of school was spent with 3 of my favorite ninja ladies, eatin at my favorite, La fuckin Cumbre, *(Voted All-Time Best Burritos in the World by Me)*, some girls spill on they selves, others get their loones hyked up past they’re titty balls. Either way, there was a whole lot of girl on girl on girl action which might have kinda grossed out Em or…made her turn japanese?. I no know. After burriton consumption, and a car ride, in a car that is very much “the sex”, we were back at Ashleys pad, where Emily bit off a large slab of my ass, it was nasty, Jill couldn’t even watch there was ass chunks and hair everywhere. And then! She had the nerve to yell at me, belleeeee dat? So..unnecessarily long story short, Ashley has a meth lab downstairs, along with a strong liking for Nina Campos and Asuka Cheeba.
Last Day of School, I really wouldn’t know much about cause I dint go. Now if you were to ask what I did instead of sincerely thanking each and every one of my teachers for a fun-filled, fantastic, fabulous, year I visited one hellova beach with, yeh you guessed it, those same, great 3 ladies. That ish was joyous if I do say so myself, they frolicked, they larked and so on. Oh did I mention carried all the equipment essential for boisterous activities? There was a dead bird, we buried the dead bird and gave him a pimpass memorial site. It was pretty hot at the beach, but the wah wah? Cold as my poodles nose, and equally damp. Cold enough to make Ashley shiver and Em shimmer it’s true, girls fear the h20 and have the cooties. Lot more lip action goin on too, and posin and posin more posin and holy cow, another pose struck. Wull sooner than later the boys made their rallying appearance, with Cahill’s pineapple ass behind the wheel. Got our balls out and kept that shit wild style, frisbees were thrown, foosballs caught, and bodies buried. Yep, that much is true, while these lads dug for the good of the Bee Bee Q, everyone else was busy burying me and shaping and reshaping my perky sweater muffins. Shortly after, harnessing herculean=like strength, I busted free of my sandy confines and skipped down into the wah-wah.
From there it was all cartwheels and NBHQ Appreciation time, not to mention pussified attempts at trying to catch a damn frisbee. Some of us brought the party in the little girls room, and that was cool. Meanwhile, Oompy guarded the wiener supply with the poker firmly gripped, oh did I mention Ooompy is a G. John-boy and Sheila came later, which is cool, cause I do enjoy piggy back rides and long meaningful walks on the beach so…that’s a hot combo. Male shot at the table, really cool backshot, and one more throwin up the pinky. Click here to see all the pics from the beach ( 69 pics ).
Same night, well keep in mind that I got a Pinky amount of Pink at the beach so my skin was a little…”tender.” Meg, Ash, Eebs and I went to a show in the city with Nurses, ReeveOliver, Vendetta Red, and Finch. The line damn near wrapped around the block, and inside it was almost as crowded as my teeth! No matter, Vendetta Red really really kicked ass, I think they were my favorite of the night. Reeve was pretty sick too, MAsh took a pic with the dreamy frontman and I got one with “O”. Finch hit the stage and we all got pretty damn close to em, cept for Matt, who was knee deep in mosh. I was tryin my hardest to keep the girls out of the kinetic mass of sweaty flesh that surrounded us, helps to be a big fuck in a crowd, I tell you what. We seriously were pretty damn close, close enough to count the spit bubbles on this guys tongue, I think that dude kinda looks like a lizard, or some other reptile, jus a thought. Anyway, Finch kicked mad ass I liked when the singer did the chicken dance that was neat. If your a fan of close up pictures and / or spit bubbles, Click here to see all the pics of the Finch / Vendetta Red / Nurses / ReeveOliver show ( 30 pics ). By the way, for the love of god, do not wear sandals to a finch concert. So I guess you can say…I left my toenail in Sannnnnn Frannnciscooooooooo
First day of summer the Marauder mobile rolled up on my block, picked me up like that one guy did to that one girl and then broke her choler bone :P. Thanks to Eebs for lettin me use his wicked axe and ampli-muh-fyer to play the music with the likes of Colin crawford, Joe Callhiou or however the ass you spell that ish, and the multitalented Ian Crawford oh and Courtney took great pictures, thanks Miss Walton. Joe ripped this roast beef sammich a new one. Click here to see all the pics from the Jam w/ the Marauders.
Well holy crap I think im almost done, aside from the scenic pics I took at the beach which you should probably look at. Not a bad 3 days eh? This summer is shapin up to kick a lot of well toned ass, and I plan to dip everything in creative juices and jus let that shit simmer for a bit. Oh and I do plan on gettin a new layout up before July (hopefully). Other than that, I’ll try update more pages, and keep listenin to the NBHQ Radio I add tracks to that thing all the time. Celebrate bitches.
J M M
– 10 Ways The Earth might be destroyed
– THAT SUCKS
– Dead eyes
– Mr. Coe’s MySpace