I Voided Myself
It’s damn near dusk on a weeknight, nine hours of class and work powered through, Randy gives a call on the ‘ol mobile and proposes a nice little jog for ‘ol times sake. I happily oblige, and pick out the popular local trail. I can’t run on an empty stomach so I down a water bottle and a handful of beef jerky for good measure beforehand. I drive us over and we lace up and begin our lovely little prance down the initial straightaway, goin at a steady trot-waddle. As we see and pass each half mile marker the sky gets darker and darker and we get further and further from the bathroom at the start. The days worth of liquid consumption was starting to catch up to me and my piss gun was rather loaded… It was damn near black out, and aside from the possible presence of mountain lions, rattle snakes, and deranged serial killers lurking in the vast brush that surrounded us, Randy and I were pretty much alone. I paused from my vigorous running to drain my lizard right there on the side of the trail, allowing mother earth to reclaim my urine.. Now keep in mind I was wearing a somewhat long wife beater and gym shorts throughout this little run.. As I let my peck flop out and great the night sky, going into auto pilot and not using my hands (a skill I have perfected over the years), I let it flow.. What I did then was something senior citizens fear and toddlers take for granted, I did not hear the satisfying echo effect of my piss juice hitting the gravel, nor the dirt. No, what I felt was more of a warm damp sensation slowly spreading across the bottom of my shirt, and ya know once you start you cant stop, so I pretty much stripped away all hope for that shirt ever being white again, not to mention cover myself in my own piss throughout the process. Yeh so the run back to the car was a damp one, Randy almost choked on his tongue laughing, I hope no one important reads this post, but I jus feel everyone else should know that I pissed myself. kthxbye. R.I.P. shirt.
Bowling Night
Monday equals Disco Bowlin @ Bel Mateo, which means the ladies get wild and ten whole frames of outrageous entertainment! I enjoyed the shoes, but did not enjoy how my fingers smelled after I withdrew them from the three ball holes, that was pretty gross actually. It was decided that we would bust out the bumpers cause my game, though usually impeccable, has gotten a tad rusty, and even than, I had trouble unleashing my athletic fury cause Emily kept throwin off my motion! Whatever, I bowled a strike through Ash’s legs anyway. I liked these balls cause they looked like big cool watermelons, and besides, being the only male present meant that I had to constantly remind my female company of my masculinity so I had to be sure to get the heaviest balls knaw mean? Ash and Em still thought I was a dousche though. To my surprise and delight, my woman could roll a bowl like no mans buidness, hot. Took time for posin too, and plenty of it. Megs hella good, Ash had a little swagger to her windup, and Taylor knocked down a buncha pins everytime but I don’t think she even meant to. Great clapper though.
Other than that fun-filled night of knockin down pins, I really haven’t really been up to much. Saw some flicks, Dark Water which is basically about a mother and daughter who suffer from a extreme and irrational fear of their own apartment’s lowly plumbing system, I wouldn’t recommend it. Saw War of the Worlds, reminded me of those “Zords” that the power rangers would fight putties in, most of the praise surrounding the movie revolved around the groundbreaking special effects and what not, but a “special” effect really isn’t “special” if it is apparent in virtually every frame of the motion picture. So theres my 2 cents.
I went to the gym today and benchpressed 260 pounds, I also pulled a gigantic tick from the armpit of my dear poodle, Tina. I got another haircut, and so did these two ladies. I got 83 pictures developed at longs for 20 cents a piece.
I upgraded the photo gallery to the current version, and tweaked the comment system a bit, so be sure to COMMENT ON THE PICTURES MORE. That is all, do it now.
– Straight Outta Compton Remix (Rare)
– Harry Potter Spoiler
– Crazy Forehead Man
– tourrettes guy
– Peter Griffin Lives!
Heyyyyyy It’s Our Buddy!
I’ts been sommore of the same as of late, goin to the gym everyday, self breast augmentation seems to be the way to go, I am benchpressing my way to B-Cups, curling my way to stretched out shirts. Ruff stopped by the other night, we walked down the hill in hopes of salvaging a uneventful Wednesday night and returned home with no avail. We made the most of our time and I busted out the ‘ol nintendo from the garage with a couple vintage cartridges. It’s been quite a while since I fiddled with that little grey box of joy, I forgot what a laborious fuckin task it is to get that sonofabitch workin, and Ruff’s limited expertise were’nt makin things much easier. Hoppin on mushrooms made it all worth the while.
Other than that, I’ve been kickin it with The Marauders for some days and some eves. Ridin shotty to some late night fly rides in this beaut right here, but thats jus until my car gets out the shop, oh did I mention I’m drivin now? Permit status bia. Anyway me and the boys could have been seen hoppin around on the 5-story, makin a ruckus, hittin people with cars ( 6.9 mb video ) and what not. But mostly jus jumpin and posin. Than we have Joe, our fearless driver, notice his cholarraised for heightened douschness and even Ian is in agreeance on that one…Stick to what you know Joe, advanced car audio repair, and watch out for hungry trunks and people highly prone to picking other people up.
We had ourselves a little jam session as well, and I met Matty, pretty G for a bitch. I took this hella artsy pic of Ian looking like he’s about seven feet tall. Shortly after Ian returned the favor and took this equally artistic shot of me makin a fishy guitar face. Lotta soulful acoustic stuff, Ian hit his pad while Joe cuddled in the other room oblivious to hidden cameras. G’times I say!
So this is the new layout, dropped ahead of schedule right in time for the first day of summer eh? Don’t worry if it loads slow or some shit doesn’t look quite right, it still has a lotta kinks/bugs that I am in the process of working out, like the text link colors on every other page except for this one need to be fixed. Other than that though…pretty much all the content pages are up, and I updated a lot of em too, so go through and check out every page using the drop down menu. Especially the Videos Section and Reviews Section Keep checking back for updates though, and leave a comment and tell me what you think so far.
– he…raped..a.dog…
– Name that Oldass Game
– The GoodYear Blimp Crashed
– Ghetto Ass A.C.
– Korean Children’s Drawings
– Monster Potatoe Gun
– altoids mp3 player
What’s Your Poison?
Another warm night, another chill hotmale with a tremendous abode and a sweet lil boat dock thing that would put this guyto shame. Twas cool to be at a lil fiesta with a buncha faces that I am not fortunate enough to see on a more frequent basis, take for isntance, this cool cat, after being blessed with his present for one warm, moonlit eve, I can only hope to be in his company again. Then we have this young lady right here, the self-proclaimed “girl version of me” brandishing her very own camera, and yes, it is the better, newer model of my own photo-taking device. It really was a trip havin someone else flashin away at all the prime subjects, jus look at this 3-way photo-taking action, it’s re-god-damn-diculous! It sure was “steamy” outside, must have been from all the fine and spicy footwear. Meg girl was in attendance, as well as DJ Em and Ash’ms, the usual suspects. This seemingly innocent face was connected to the neck and body that made Jared, ( our fearless host ) poke his’self in they face, I’ll admit, it was hard to watch. I don’t think Ari really knew what was goin on, same with this guy. Word to the wise, Jared is an ace when it comes to makin O.J but such an arduous task requires the utmost skill and meticulousness stirring techniques, sadly, not everyone is able to wait for the creation of Jared’s citrus-ee concotion and resort to binging on dairy products on the kitchen floor. Tsk tsk tsk. Was a fun night indeed, thanks again J-boy, you have a lovely home and boat dock :P.
Randy springs me a ring on my mobile as I’m leavin the motion picture house with my lovely ladyfriend announcing his occupany of my home and absolute refusal to depart. Naturally I am enthused to see my boy Randy and his amigo, and my new buddy, Felipe. My excitement only increased after I learned that both boys were to be spending the night! And my mom said we could stay up and watch Parent Trap, and “Stepmom” as many times as our short little attention spans could take it! I’m kidding. After droppin fitty bills at Safeway, ( yes I mean fifty dollars, five of which were jus for the 30 or 7 limes Randall picked out ) we were up till 2:00 in the mornin cookin up some carne, mexican style. Felipe, manning the skillet, Randy wildy wielding the knife, and me, microwaving the beans. Nuked the muthas.
I am still workin on that new layout I promised, no idea when I’m gonna drop it on you guys, these summer days are reason for praise, chaisin the rays while I fall into this abyss of malaise and what not. I’m goin to the Scribble Jam Tour on Saturday with Caitlyn, Pinky’s girl to see Mr. Dibbs, Blueprint, and Glue it should be kick ass ok? Keep that shit wild style.
– Job Predictor – I got heavyweight boxer
– Guess the Google Game
– The catfish that ate a bball
– Scariest Canadian Ever
– Wanna eat here?