Summer Wind
It’s been a buncha hot days since I’ve my back fat has stuck to the sticky black leather of my executive night sky black office chair and poked away at my keyboard. Ten of these blazing days I spent learning how to water-ski, admiring geese, and pickin up hotties in the beautiful Lake Tahoe. This is my second time out there, first time was with eebs. This time definately had its perks, gettin to wake up to my girl on the norm, lettin the sun scar my corneas out of dreamland, I am my own biological timepiece, the corona, my alarm clock. Speakin of that lil relentless yellow blistering ball of heat, I, being of honkey decent, living in a body plagued by freckles, moles, and various other types of dermatological wonders, I am what you would call “prone to sun damage.” Being, 6,500 feet closer to the sun than in good ol San Mateo, might also be a contributing factor to why my skin pigment illuminates to a glowing shade of red, we can expect a full peel any day now. So a lotta days were spent out on the lake on my noble aquatic steed, the baddest of the bad wave runner galloping to speeds over 50 mph guaranteed to disturb the tranquility of my fine feathered friends…
I tried tubing a couple times, and promptly came to the conclusion that it was not intended for the male gender or any other halfway-gender with protrusive components, lotta slapping of the goods goin on… Julia did it like a G and made me ashamed of my testicles and assorted manhood. That girl is a crazy ass driver on that jet ski too, hurled my ass off it the first time we went on it, betcha wish I took a pic of that shit eh? Too damn bad Jack. This is a 14 ft long anaconda snake skin, I will answer no questions on the matter. This is McKenna burying my foot alive, and here’s a rare sighting of a bunny in twilight. Spent some days with volleyball superstar Katie Hurley, she’s a pussy. She’s 5’10, we shot the shit about living as giants among the dwarfs, she really wanted to make sure I put this picture online and I respect the wishes of my freakishly tall sister. She tried tubing and held on the whole time, and managed to stay afloat. Kudos. 
I ask you now, my undying legion of dedicated fans and followers : have any of you heard of a “Junebug”? Insectile, ball of hiss, teeth, talons, with wings about the size of Cahill, bigass fucker. One of those bugs that you can hear before you see god damn helicopter. Anyway, I spent this year’s 4th of July over there, peeped some superior works of fire, along with this fine flame thanks to Drew and his irresistable lumberjack skills we ate the obligatory yearly meal of hotty dogs, ribs, chicks, corn, steaks, the best eats I’ve had in a damn while. Big ups to chefs for that. So as the eve wore on, and the rockets’ red glare, the bombs bursting in air subsided, we treated into my 10-day home and watched in amazement as my ladies momma bust out her samurai sword and warn that she’d cut a bitch if the need beckoned. 
A buncha days were spent on the boat, I liked the boat, took neat pictures on the boat, and Katie sucks ass at trying to get on the boat. We went on a hike, saw a fat black spider on the hike, I also saw and tasted snow, and ya better believe I dint hesitate to slide down that ish along with Julia’s cousin Lucas who bears a STRIKE resemblence to the kid from that christmas movie. All and all it really was the best damn vacation I’ve had in a long while, pickin up hotties, so havin a hot girlfriend is pretty much the best times, even if I hafta help her groom herself
So since I’ve been back home, sweating my balls off, I have been the victim, yet again, of a malicious assault on my hallway. The culprits at large chalked the entire entryway, everywhere, and than had the nerve to leave their French calling card. Damn hooligans.
Had a few people over the other night, Pinky and me thunk up the idea to stuff a buncha modified Piccolo Petes ( fireworks ) inside this here computer, but than got sidetracked and ended up in the pool with Emily, and the lord of the rings, Ash’ms. At first I had those beezies right where I wanted em…The tables quickly turned, and I was swiftly kicked in the wall, she didn’t waste any time latchin onto my hand with her sharpass grill, check out my Emily bite, brutal eh? What Emily DIDN’T know was that I am quite skilled in the art of croc handling and went straight for her powerful mandible was wearin her like a glove. 
Than Bobs, Brandan, and Caitlin swung by. Ash put her painting on pause to braid Bran’s long ass hair, while Emily painted Bobs’ face. Than they both did me, reminded me of my time spent in juvy…Anyway, we looked awesome, and Brandon looked pretty bitchin himself with his newfound braids. So a couple hours later, when the fellas went to leave, the car wouldnt start, tried to jumpstart the thing with no avail, as if Brandon knew what the ass he was doin anyway. The Bobs sprung Colin a ring and within minutes, he had em runnin T-H-E fuckin END.
From now on I wont take so long to post, All Apologies. Check out the views gallery if your into breathtaking scenery and eye-opening sunsets.
– Bruce Lee Training Video
– Make Your Own Comic Strip
– Crates and Barrels
– Suction Head Man
– Typewriter Artist
– Scariest Dog Ever
Heyyyyyy It’s Our Buddy!
I’ts been sommore of the same as of late, goin to the gym everyday, self breast augmentation seems to be the way to go, I am benchpressing my way to B-Cups, curling my way to stretched out shirts. Ruff stopped by the other night, we walked down the hill in hopes of salvaging a uneventful Wednesday night and returned home with no avail. We made the most of our time and I busted out the ‘ol nintendo from the garage with a couple vintage cartridges. It’s been quite a while since I fiddled with that little grey box of joy, I forgot what a laborious fuckin task it is to get that sonofabitch workin, and Ruff’s limited expertise were’nt makin things much easier. Hoppin on mushrooms made it all worth the while.
Other than that, I’ve been kickin it with The Marauders for some days and some eves. Ridin shotty to some late night fly rides in this beaut right here, but thats jus until my car gets out the shop, oh did I mention I’m drivin now? Permit status bia. Anyway me and the boys could have been seen hoppin around on the 5-story, makin a ruckus, hittin people with cars ( 6.9 mb video ) and what not. But mostly jus jumpin and posin. Than we have Joe, our fearless driver, notice his cholarraised for heightened douschness and even Ian is in agreeance on that one…Stick to what you know Joe, advanced car audio repair, and watch out for hungry trunks and people highly prone to picking other people up.
We had ourselves a little jam session as well, and I met Matty, pretty G for a bitch. I took this hella artsy pic of Ian looking like he’s about seven feet tall. Shortly after Ian returned the favor and took this equally artistic shot of me makin a fishy guitar face. Lotta soulful acoustic stuff, Ian hit his pad while Joe cuddled in the other room oblivious to hidden cameras. G’times I say!
So this is the new layout, dropped ahead of schedule right in time for the first day of summer eh? Don’t worry if it loads slow or some shit doesn’t look quite right, it still has a lotta kinks/bugs that I am in the process of working out, like the text link colors on every other page except for this one need to be fixed. Other than that though…pretty much all the content pages are up, and I updated a lot of em too, so go through and check out every page using the drop down menu. Especially the Videos Section and Reviews Section Keep checking back for updates though, and leave a comment and tell me what you think so far.
– he…raped..a.dog…
– Name that Oldass Game
– The GoodYear Blimp Crashed
– Ghetto Ass A.C.
– Korean Children’s Drawings
– Monster Potatoe Gun
– altoids mp3 player
Mo Hot Ish Fo Ya’ll To Vibe Wit
We’ll Pinky’s pink ass is off in the Catorina Islands off the coast of San Diego, dickin around with his Pink amigos probably getting pinker by the minute. Lucky for me, Pinky has a nice girlfriend with a nice friend with an even nicer Escalade. I had wanted to check out the Scribble Jam cause I had heard all those names before, and plus I’d never been to a rap show before. It was the same venue as the Finch show with half the people, which increased the odds of me makin it home with all ten toenails. It was weird only seein two dudes there, one with a mic and his bitch behind the tables, kinda takes away the overall stage presence, maybe that’s jus my take on it :P. Maybe deep down I kinda thought, kinda hoped Slug would pop out and tear Blueprint a new one for weak verses to spill out of. The first act, GLUE was real good, god damn that man could speak very fast, it was like watchin a fuckin auction with a beat to it, but it was good nonetheless, I’ll put some of his stuff up on the radio. The headliner, Mr. Dibbs was pretty crazy too, he seemed to have a lotta confidance about his wrist flickin / finger twitchin / vinyl scrapin skills as he stammered onstage. He managed to mix AC/DC with Jay-Z, ZZ-Top with Star Wars audio, pretty cool man. So I got to shake hands with all 3 acts cause they would all come down on the floor after their set, pretty downed to earth for underground / unheard of hip-hop artists, I left with a signed GLUE CD. Rap isn’t crap, but I still would have liked to see Atmosphere :/.
I had the fellas and the Turtle Squad over a few nights ago. Before the fellas made their grande arrival, the lassies and myself enjoyed a comedic motion picture entitled “Super Troopers.” We thorougly savoured and enjoyed each and every amusing scene, and found it humurous when one of the officers dares his partner to say “Meow” ten times to a pulled over speeder. Hah hah h-yessss. Anywhoo, I’ve NEVER been to London, Ashley’s been to France, and oh my lord, here we see Emily’s underpants gives me a yeast infection jus lookin at it…YEESH..hah get it? Megs Emo, but we all knew that beforehand. It was almost one in the morning, the ladies has long since gone, and the fellas grew restless. Craftily I took us all outside, to the church, wielding my water polo ball…it was cool. Patrick assumed the role of the playground pimp, a cone fight erupted between Derek and the Ninja, Kairon, and yes Derek is still passing trace amounts of flourescent orange rubber in his stool movements thanks to the quick, and relentless hands of his fellow fella, Kairon. Patrick cleared the eight stair on his feet, and made a damn funny face when he landed. Keep in mind now it’s almost 2:00 and these sons-a-bitches still got energy to play some hoops, and immediately, the shirts came off, and patrick schooled the young beezies. It quickly turned into a blurry, and probably really trippy push fest in the hectic midst of which Kai received a bruised left nut and had to “sit-n-chill” for a sec. And after a long hard game with the boys, good ol JoJo came inside and cuddled up with his best girl. Cute shit.
So I guess you can say I’ve been busy lately, this is the first day in about 3-4 days that I even bothered turning my computer on. Gym-going and raisin bran CRUNCH-eating have pretty much dominated my daily routine as of late, and I still have the imminent task of getting a god damn job and a liscence/permit weighing down my shoulders which really is quite insignificant compared to the 145 pounds that I normally shoulder press MWA-HAH BITCHES, 1 ticket to hernia-ville por favor. I’ll drop the new layout when I damn will please so stop e-mailing me.
On a side note : On a rating of 1-10 how old would you say Michael Jackson’s boyfriend is? 😀 Did you hear he got acquitted? Apparently money buys more than jus noses…
– 460 bucks for star wars cereal boxes, anyone? anyone?
– I really don’t even know what to put for this
– Jack Johnson Surfing Game
– “Franimals”
– The TRUTH about MySpace
What’s Your Poison?
Another warm night, another chill hotmale with a tremendous abode and a sweet lil boat dock thing that would put this guyto shame. Twas cool to be at a lil fiesta with a buncha faces that I am not fortunate enough to see on a more frequent basis, take for isntance, this cool cat, after being blessed with his present for one warm, moonlit eve, I can only hope to be in his company again. Then we have this young lady right here, the self-proclaimed “girl version of me” brandishing her very own camera, and yes, it is the better, newer model of my own photo-taking device. It really was a trip havin someone else flashin away at all the prime subjects, jus look at this 3-way photo-taking action, it’s re-god-damn-diculous! It sure was “steamy” outside, must have been from all the fine and spicy footwear. Meg girl was in attendance, as well as DJ Em and Ash’ms, the usual suspects. This seemingly innocent face was connected to the neck and body that made Jared, ( our fearless host ) poke his’self in they face, I’ll admit, it was hard to watch. I don’t think Ari really knew what was goin on, same with this guy. Word to the wise, Jared is an ace when it comes to makin O.J but such an arduous task requires the utmost skill and meticulousness stirring techniques, sadly, not everyone is able to wait for the creation of Jared’s citrus-ee concotion and resort to binging on dairy products on the kitchen floor. Tsk tsk tsk. Was a fun night indeed, thanks again J-boy, you have a lovely home and boat dock :P.
Randy springs me a ring on my mobile as I’m leavin the motion picture house with my lovely ladyfriend announcing his occupany of my home and absolute refusal to depart. Naturally I am enthused to see my boy Randy and his amigo, and my new buddy, Felipe. My excitement only increased after I learned that both boys were to be spending the night! And my mom said we could stay up and watch Parent Trap, and “Stepmom” as many times as our short little attention spans could take it! I’m kidding. After droppin fitty bills at Safeway, ( yes I mean fifty dollars, five of which were jus for the 30 or 7 limes Randall picked out ) we were up till 2:00 in the mornin cookin up some carne, mexican style. Felipe, manning the skillet, Randy wildy wielding the knife, and me, microwaving the beans. Nuked the muthas.
I am still workin on that new layout I promised, no idea when I’m gonna drop it on you guys, these summer days are reason for praise, chaisin the rays while I fall into this abyss of malaise and what not. I’m goin to the Scribble Jam Tour on Saturday with Caitlyn, Pinky’s girl to see Mr. Dibbs, Blueprint, and Glue it should be kick ass ok? Keep that shit wild style.
– Job Predictor – I got heavyweight boxer
– Guess the Google Game
– The catfish that ate a bball
– Scariest Canadian Ever
– Wanna eat here?