I’m a little fuzzy as to the reason why we celebrate this holiday we call Cinco De Mayo, but I’m pretty sure it has to do with this and possibly the Horchata. I do enjoy my rice milk, that shit is bueno as hell. Anywhoo, my fifth of May (which means Cinco De Mayo in case your severly culturally and linguistically inept) brought me to the house of Harley with a chica in hand, and notice I’m the only cowboy bad enough to rock the party with my sombrero on head. The situation was a chill one, Umpy is the shit, and this image shall haunt.
The night was still young and Ian flew us over to Danas pad, who jus so happends to live in the middle of satans asshole, past 2 dimly lit roundabouts across some bushes, over the hills and far away. I gotta say though, once we landed and strolled inside the gargantuan residence complete with a stocked bar and Thomas the Bartender who I’m half sure must have come with the h ouse, I was impressed. There was a pool that I’m quite happy Alexa didn’t roll into in the midst of her fuzzy minded conditition.
I think the first thing I did when I got in the main room was to touch Travis. A couple parties ago I witnessed four girls lick each other which was supremely bitchin to say the least, so I guess you could call this tame by comparison, but still semi-bitchin. Ari was there, neat.
When Fejj is all schmoked out he spits some fairly boring shit.
In case you overlooked it, lemme tell you that my legion of hoes were also in attendance rockin the brandings that I gave them, that lil sticker got to second base with a lotta females I think. It was clearly on Dana’s mind. Ya’ll can’t do like NBHQ.
So as liquor gets hold of the head, liver, soul I found myself in a squabble with the host herself, she musta been talkin shit about my man boobs or something iono, but I took major and offence and reintroduced her to her own floor and you can plainly see my first hand bite of the night, but certainly not the last. She was sendin them kung fu kicks straight to the ball sack, someone must have tipped her off to my most vulnerable pressure point. When she tried an encore I caught both feet in my pecs and than began to tie her into pretzel, but she countered with the dreaded scarring scalp technique being sure to make a excruciating impact on each and every hair follicle. I retaliated and gave her the right to submit and call me Daddy or feel poppa at his meanest she opted for option be, and the smackdown was applied, I held back, remembering what happend the last time I really handed it to a lady, bad times. Wow…after reading this back to me I’m realizing how bad this makes me look…so…don’t tell your friends. I gave her a rose and we made up.
A couple weekends back I was gonna make a post about Geoffs Telly but my dear friend and life partner Hoesafe beat me to the punch and he did it better than me, go figure, you can check him out at his very own website Joes On Hoes, hot shit I do declare. A couple quick notations about that night though that hoesafe seemed to overlook:
Before I end this ish I gotta say happy 1 year anniversary to my woman who treated me to a lovely brunch / dinner on an island by means of a ferry. Oh what a GLORIOUS DAY. And thanks for not making fun of my falling asleep and drooling on the way home. <3
I arrive stag at Megs, the doors opened and I quickly see everyone is about 10 shots ahead of me, and this frickin CZIG chic brought her camera too, so my lil cam had some competition. I find this picture amusing because it kinda looks like Ari is getting his dork tugged. Heres my most heterosexual moment of the night, Nick Brady does not let men kiss him because he is gay, it’s only because I have run out of women. Oh wait, scratch that last statement, heres Drew on my nuts, literally. But I got some booby and booty shots to cancel that shit out. Enjoy that, heres a two for price of one shot.
In the midst of binge drinking and jig dancing, Drew and I took part in a push-up competition, and lemme jus say that lil shitbird can squeeze out a bunch, but once again my B-Cup beauts prevailed and I think that explains why he was on my nuts the rest of the night; as documented in the previous picture… I then took my PRRRRIZEEE, yehhhh suck on that COLIN ooooohhh yeahhh baby, got em done.
Here we have Meg aroused at the sheer presence of my automobile, and yes shes a big fan of my backseat, they don’t call me wide load for nothin eh? Back inside, the midnite cowgirls seemed to be aroused at the sheer presence of each other. Check this out if you don’t believe me.
The nastiest part of the night had to be all that fuckin cheese gettin passed around. Alexa. Ari. Fuckin madness I say, those American singles were not intended to be eaten or smelled by human orifices its no mayo but its god damn close. Lock that shit up and feed the key to Tina.
The story behind this lovely photo was that I inquired to the ladies as to the size and girth of my phallus, which, if you know me on a personal level is called upon as Nick Jr. Melissa doesn’t believe me, and suggested I put my money where my crotch is. I denied. But Alexa says I mooned her and scarred her corneas with my beastly, hairy, yetty ass. I believe it, hell, it made Zack pass out. Yeh he’s a better guitar player than I, which pisses me off, I bet Nick Jr. would win in a cage match.
All in all it was another succesfull night at Megs and in case I missed some pics, you can check em all out
Oh and lest we forget:
Ian and myself lost our voices screaming at the Aragon/Hillsdale quad in which our good ol Dons shat on the Knights in a 4-0 sweep. We brought the E+A along, but only after we waited for them to assemble, prepare, blowdry, and pose. So when we got their and found seats where we were packed like sardines, but it was tolerable cause we were in close proximinity with the coolest twins ever. It was a hellova game good enough to almost take up nailbiting, not quite though. E+A, try as they might they couldn’t keep my eyes from the court, see?.
Shit-on-Hillsdale and have a good time night continued with my first visit to Condon’s House. I dug. First of all, I came, I saw, I Pimped, jus to show the other dogs who humps the legs of bitches. I learned things that night,
1. Charles has a kidney of steel and a is pretty much immune to intoxication, and he could prolly kick my ass through a wall even if he ever was drunk.
4. NPC can’t handle more than one girl.
I’m takin a day off school tommorow and goin to the beach. Expect more killer pics and a post made of pure balls.
P.S. I upgraded the Photo Gallery, it needs a lot of tweaking graphically, but it seems way faster to me, lemme know what you think.
You heard right bitches, your favorite seventeen year old ridin shotty with mommma is on his own tearin up the streets. Consider yourself blessed if you see me rollin down the ElCo with an illegal passenger or five, give me a wave as I shoot past you doin the posted speed limit in my 24-cylinder ’93 celica spittin fire out my tail pipe. First night with my license, Pinky and I met up at top of the world and made out and shit, not a bad first night.
I haven’t taken so many pics lately largely because of the fat fucking tear on my cameras LCD screen so I can’t even see what the fuh I’m doin, and that shit aint copasedic lemme tell ya…Anyway, I manage, snappin some shots of my buddies of little or no gang affiliation; notice the empty thing of nachos in Jumbo’s hand:priceless.
My yearbook assignment was to document the Junior Class, and that I did, heres some female underclassmen and some more like Katie & Dana. Oh and I shaint forgot to include the classic Kelsey Ballard / Danielle Murray tongue2tongue naked makeout session; and heres my chic with Kristin, dunno if they were gonna make out but, it mighta been a possibility.
So Ally is the shit right? Yeh…she is, and so is her thizz face when she’s munching rug…I mean garden salad.
Work goes well, I like sitting at a desk and looking outside and touching big servers and wearing fly ass polo shirts, and workin with this poor sacka shit 3 hours a day 3 times a week, it’s family buidness bitch and it’s good times.
Fuck you Finals. Don’t study, eat these hotlinks instead: