Title of Post Goes Here
Spent the last couple days in Tahoe again with my lovely girlfriend eatin filet mignon and ridin wave runners, no biggy. We met up with Ash’ms and the rest of her family, and their big nice boat, with two big nice tubes. Tubing was damn fun. Than we upped the antee a bit and busted out the wakeboard. At which point, Ash, Julia, and Danny Boy made me appear in the lamest of ways. I’m not gonna even try to lie, me and gravity arent the best of friends and “graceful” is not a word I would use to describe myself as, espcially when it comes to getting my sasquatch-ass feet inside the footholes made for ordinary humans. When we were through, we stumbled upon a crawdad or two, they’re big, and scared the crawpoop outta julia. Anyway, more steak and cake was eatin and Danny and I failed at giving Julia a dirty sanchez.
Sidekicks are rediculously stupid, however, obscene 3-fingered gestures are not. Pinky should start of his clothing line, one that sells shants exclusively. The crew, more than 20 men strong, ( 40 balls in all ) gathered at the 5 story after most partook in acts not looked fondly upon by college boards and federal authorities, our good friend Umpy was feeling a little “under the weather” and sought sweet relief as he violently hurled mouthful after moutful of the substances that had nauseated the lad. I honestly cannot explain the vileness of the situation, watching the “upchuck” trickle down the side of the 5 story parking garage, floor after floor like a little barf slinky, each chunk glistening in the late night moon light…Nasty
Holy Cannoli we missed the Italian Festival this year! A major blowit indeed, prolly serves me right for thinkin I could walk there in time with good ol Ian. POR QUEEEEEE?! And aint that a kick in the head, seein all those lil one-time-a-year stands closin shop, the orange julius knockoff stand, the pina kowlada in a pineapple stand, and runnin into bro Jared. For shame. The day was salvaged after a visit to La Cumbre ( best burritos in the world ). The night began with a downtown stroll, and yes it is very cool havin a buddy in the motion picture biz, all flicks should be free.99. We had a run-in with the now chain-smoking Aaron at a different taqueria ( that has the best horchatas ). Joe got off work soon after and they were lickin the cold stone walls and drooling at its female employees. Anyway, the horchata was tossed and I got to come home to this, no complaints.
School starts soon, my birthday is the 25th, I’ll whip up another layout or somethin. I’m selling my computer. My room looks amazing thanks to E & A. The next post will be better.
Summer Wind
It’s been a buncha hot days since I’ve my back fat has stuck to the sticky black leather of my executive night sky black office chair and poked away at my keyboard. Ten of these blazing days I spent learning how to water-ski, admiring geese, and pickin up hotties in the beautiful Lake Tahoe. This is my second time out there, first time was with eebs. This time definately had its perks, gettin to wake up to my girl on the norm, lettin the sun scar my corneas out of dreamland, I am my own biological timepiece, the corona, my alarm clock. Speakin of that lil relentless yellow blistering ball of heat, I, being of honkey decent, living in a body plagued by freckles, moles, and various other types of dermatological wonders, I am what you would call “prone to sun damage.” Being, 6,500 feet closer to the sun than in good ol San Mateo, might also be a contributing factor to why my skin pigment illuminates to a glowing shade of red, we can expect a full peel any day now. So a lotta days were spent out on the lake on my noble aquatic steed, the baddest of the bad wave runner galloping to speeds over 50 mph guaranteed to disturb the tranquility of my fine feathered friends…
I tried tubing a couple times, and promptly came to the conclusion that it was not intended for the male gender or any other halfway-gender with protrusive components, lotta slapping of the goods goin on… Julia did it like a G and made me ashamed of my testicles and assorted manhood. That girl is a crazy ass driver on that jet ski too, hurled my ass off it the first time we went on it, betcha wish I took a pic of that shit eh? Too damn bad Jack. This is a 14 ft long anaconda snake skin, I will answer no questions on the matter. This is McKenna burying my foot alive, and here’s a rare sighting of a bunny in twilight. Spent some days with volleyball superstar Katie Hurley, she’s a pussy. She’s 5’10, we shot the shit about living as giants among the dwarfs, she really wanted to make sure I put this picture online and I respect the wishes of my freakishly tall sister. She tried tubing and held on the whole time, and managed to stay afloat. Kudos. 
I ask you now, my undying legion of dedicated fans and followers : have any of you heard of a “Junebug”? Insectile, ball of hiss, teeth, talons, with wings about the size of Cahill, bigass fucker. One of those bugs that you can hear before you see god damn helicopter. Anyway, I spent this year’s 4th of July over there, peeped some superior works of fire, along with this fine flame thanks to Drew and his irresistable lumberjack skills we ate the obligatory yearly meal of hotty dogs, ribs, chicks, corn, steaks, the best eats I’ve had in a damn while. Big ups to chefs for that. So as the eve wore on, and the rockets’ red glare, the bombs bursting in air subsided, we treated into my 10-day home and watched in amazement as my ladies momma bust out her samurai sword and warn that she’d cut a bitch if the need beckoned. 
A buncha days were spent on the boat, I liked the boat, took neat pictures on the boat, and Katie sucks ass at trying to get on the boat. We went on a hike, saw a fat black spider on the hike, I also saw and tasted snow, and ya better believe I dint hesitate to slide down that ish along with Julia’s cousin Lucas who bears a STRIKE resemblence to the kid from that christmas movie. All and all it really was the best damn vacation I’ve had in a long while, pickin up hotties, so havin a hot girlfriend is pretty much the best times, even if I hafta help her groom herself
So since I’ve been back home, sweating my balls off, I have been the victim, yet again, of a malicious assault on my hallway. The culprits at large chalked the entire entryway, everywhere, and than had the nerve to leave their French calling card. Damn hooligans.
Had a few people over the other night, Pinky and me thunk up the idea to stuff a buncha modified Piccolo Petes ( fireworks ) inside this here computer, but than got sidetracked and ended up in the pool with Emily, and the lord of the rings, Ash’ms. At first I had those beezies right where I wanted em…The tables quickly turned, and I was swiftly kicked in the wall, she didn’t waste any time latchin onto my hand with her sharpass grill, check out my Emily bite, brutal eh? What Emily DIDN’T know was that I am quite skilled in the art of croc handling and went straight for her powerful mandible was wearin her like a glove. 
Than Bobs, Brandan, and Caitlin swung by. Ash put her painting on pause to braid Bran’s long ass hair, while Emily painted Bobs’ face. Than they both did me, reminded me of my time spent in juvy…Anyway, we looked awesome, and Brandon looked pretty bitchin himself with his newfound braids. So a couple hours later, when the fellas went to leave, the car wouldnt start, tried to jumpstart the thing with no avail, as if Brandon knew what the ass he was doin anyway. The Bobs sprung Colin a ring and within minutes, he had em runnin T-H-E fuckin END.
From now on I wont take so long to post, All Apologies. Check out the views gallery if your into breathtaking scenery and eye-opening sunsets.
– Bruce Lee Training Video
– Make Your Own Comic Strip
– Crates and Barrels
– Suction Head Man
– Typewriter Artist
– Scariest Dog Ever
P-Lot Follies
It’s been too long since a proper chill session has been experienced with this fine sir and brother god damn dawkness! It was a fiesta convoy if I do say, and from the looks of things I’d say that the first crowd got a little head start on mind altering substances. And I aint talkin bout stoge love, no sir. So I guess Dawkness developed “control problems” since the last time I saw em, no matta, he could still pluck some strings and drive some cars. Lil Danny was in the lot too, goin crazy in Rich’s Neon, which is a sweet ass ride by the way.. Driving is pretty much the ish, and so is obeying the speed limit and respecting the law kids. Only YOU can prevent forest fires.
Anywhoo after an hour or so of dilly doolying in the parking lot, Bob’s and I cut out and rolled down the street to Laurelwood, which is pretty much a big deal place now. There’s a little more than oodles to do over there, you can shop for jerkey at the Rite Aid, kill yourself slowly at McD’s, laugh, and cry at the Hallmark store, or you could jus shoot the shit and take dumbshit pictures with the hallmark crown. We took sommore unintelligent pictures at CSM too, Bobby did some ballet or whatever while I stood, transfixed, gazing into the beautiful night sky that blanketed our town, I pondered, in a most profound manner…”Why is my ass eating my jeans?”…But uh, not all the pictures we took were horribly lame and devoid of any revelance to a structured chain of events, heres one of myself gettin me some sweet moon pie and Bobster tryin to break himself off some. Anyway, short, meaningless story long and drawn out ; we went to some other parking garage, Bobby ate a flame, smoked a stoge backwards ( 1.9 mb video ) and Oliver was pretty damn blasted.
This post has takin me DAYS to get through, not because I have spent time doing my best to formulate a concise recollection of important events that I feel neccesary to share with my legions of loyal viewers, NAY. It’s takin me minute upon minute to do this cause it’s summer time, the life? Easy. The pool? Heated. The girl? Hot. I got ish to do, tryin to get me a j.o.b. tryin to learn the ways of the road so I can drive myself to this j.o.b.
Happy Birthday Emily!
Anyway, the site is lookin pretty alright, I fixed the CSS issues myself, thanks to Leo and my host for trying to help me out. Installed the newest version of my guestbook so be sure to sign it, I also tweaked it to match the site more along with the photo gallery and radio. Jus check everything out.
I’m goin to be outta town with my beautiful girl, from the 30th through the 7th or somethin, so maybe I’ll get Pinky or someone to fill in for me, either way, I promise the next post will kick the ass of this post.
– Fuck yo couch
– Ginormous Catfish
– Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner
– What the fuhhhhh
– Fuck yo couch
– How much it would cost to be batman
– Ugly Animals
Mo Hot Ish Fo Ya’ll To Vibe Wit
We’ll Pinky’s pink ass is off in the Catorina Islands off the coast of San Diego, dickin around with his Pink amigos probably getting pinker by the minute. Lucky for me, Pinky has a nice girlfriend with a nice friend with an even nicer Escalade. I had wanted to check out the Scribble Jam cause I had heard all those names before, and plus I’d never been to a rap show before. It was the same venue as the Finch show with half the people, which increased the odds of me makin it home with all ten toenails. It was weird only seein two dudes there, one with a mic and his bitch behind the tables, kinda takes away the overall stage presence, maybe that’s jus my take on it :P. Maybe deep down I kinda thought, kinda hoped Slug would pop out and tear Blueprint a new one for weak verses to spill out of. The first act, GLUE was real good, god damn that man could speak very fast, it was like watchin a fuckin auction with a beat to it, but it was good nonetheless, I’ll put some of his stuff up on the radio. The headliner, Mr. Dibbs was pretty crazy too, he seemed to have a lotta confidance about his wrist flickin / finger twitchin / vinyl scrapin skills as he stammered onstage. He managed to mix AC/DC with Jay-Z, ZZ-Top with Star Wars audio, pretty cool man. So I got to shake hands with all 3 acts cause they would all come down on the floor after their set, pretty downed to earth for underground / unheard of hip-hop artists, I left with a signed GLUE CD. Rap isn’t crap, but I still would have liked to see Atmosphere :/.
I had the fellas and the Turtle Squad over a few nights ago. Before the fellas made their grande arrival, the lassies and myself enjoyed a comedic motion picture entitled “Super Troopers.” We thorougly savoured and enjoyed each and every amusing scene, and found it humurous when one of the officers dares his partner to say “Meow” ten times to a pulled over speeder. Hah hah h-yessss. Anywhoo, I’ve NEVER been to London, Ashley’s been to France, and oh my lord, here we see Emily’s underpants gives me a yeast infection jus lookin at it…YEESH..hah get it? Megs Emo, but we all knew that beforehand. It was almost one in the morning, the ladies has long since gone, and the fellas grew restless. Craftily I took us all outside, to the church, wielding my water polo ball…it was cool. Patrick assumed the role of the playground pimp, a cone fight erupted between Derek and the Ninja, Kairon, and yes Derek is still passing trace amounts of flourescent orange rubber in his stool movements thanks to the quick, and relentless hands of his fellow fella, Kairon. Patrick cleared the eight stair on his feet, and made a damn funny face when he landed. Keep in mind now it’s almost 2:00 and these sons-a-bitches still got energy to play some hoops, and immediately, the shirts came off, and patrick schooled the young beezies. It quickly turned into a blurry, and probably really trippy push fest in the hectic midst of which Kai received a bruised left nut and had to “sit-n-chill” for a sec. And after a long hard game with the boys, good ol JoJo came inside and cuddled up with his best girl. Cute shit.
So I guess you can say I’ve been busy lately, this is the first day in about 3-4 days that I even bothered turning my computer on. Gym-going and raisin bran CRUNCH-eating have pretty much dominated my daily routine as of late, and I still have the imminent task of getting a god damn job and a liscence/permit weighing down my shoulders which really is quite insignificant compared to the 145 pounds that I normally shoulder press MWA-HAH BITCHES, 1 ticket to hernia-ville por favor. I’ll drop the new layout when I damn will please so stop e-mailing me.
On a side note : On a rating of 1-10 how old would you say Michael Jackson’s boyfriend is? 😀 Did you hear he got acquitted? Apparently money buys more than jus noses…
– 460 bucks for star wars cereal boxes, anyone? anyone?
– I really don’t even know what to put for this
– Jack Johnson Surfing Game
– “Franimals”
– The TRUTH about MySpace