Cmon Party People
Greetings and salutations to you all, I apologize I’ve gone through quite spell of blogger’s block partly because I didn’t have the time and partly because if someone were to ask me what I did last weekend my reply would probably be a dull and blank one. No longer is this the case. And so it begins:
A few weeks ago, back when I had a girlfriend and 2 jobs to occupy my time, basically slaving away at the daily grind for dollars that made little sense. My chance for escape came when my dear pal Ian hatched a plan for us to go stay visit Ash’ms, Christa Ryder and the new love of my life / Ashley’s boyfriend Daren Smilie. Needless to say the very prospect of these tentative arrangements solidifying into weekend plans was enough to send me into a heightened state of arousal. Ian and I hit the road at damn the ungodly hour of 5:30 A.M. embarking on what would turn into an 8 hour ass-falling-asleep-fest complete with sing along emo music audible throughout the rear speakers only, cause most the time if I have to listen to that shit at all thats how I like it, faint and kinda shaky. So prior to the trip people advised me to be wary of the smog polluted skies of LA and not to get arrested in Mexico, heres a pic of the gorgeous Los Angeles sky you can almost make out a plane in the background or maybe its just fecal matter I don’t know.
Maybe three or four hours into the epic journey I managed to catch some winks while sitting fully erect with my fuckin arm at a 45 degree angle and evidently Ian thought this was some majorly entertaining shit. The unpleasant aftermath of my sunbaked napping was a gnarly ass half farmer tan on my right arm that without the administering of the soothing aloe via Christa could have fucked up my days. I’d say the highlight of our excursion was the night spent in Tijuana where Mr. Cuervo and I made friends and he introduced me to his rowdy cousin the “Adios Motherfucker”, truly a lovely family all in all.
The next memorable excursion for yours truly was my time spent over at the lovely University of San Francisco with lovely ladies ingesting lovely liquids and peeing them out in womens bathrooms. Ally, better known as A-face round them parts, showed me a time and a half. Showed me my first club experience (north of the border) where my faith in the Hyphy movement was restored. True it wasn’t anywhere near Tijuana’s Gropefest ’07, and true I didn’t take any pics when inside but take my word for it when I say the force of friction felt was enough to grind down my jeans to the threads. Beleee dattt.
In local news Hoesafe, Barry, and girl Joe all went the to beach a bunch of days ago. I met a 185 lb dog with a raging erection for
me. I was buried in sand. Life was made better when I saw my dear buddy Malchow at la casa de Gannon, played some beer
checkers and was shown the way of the shotgun, Ian and the dog ran a train on Umpy, and then we all ate tacos. Good night.
In Accordance With The Dictates of Reason
Saint Patties Day ’07 was a bit of a bust, despite my best attempt of being green and mean the night will be remembered as the night I failed to celebrate my heritage coming home with unbruised knuckles and as many brain cells as I left with.
The same can’t be said for the evening at lovely Courtney‘s. The boys and I warmed up at Umpy’s house as a prelim. Brotha dawkness did what he does best, and faced the consequences dished out by the vengeful homeowner. Luckily his penis shielded most of the blow. We walked the streets in the cloak of night and into the pad of Courtney where everyone felt the need to pop shots elbow to elbow in the kitchen. I was quick to assemble with the fellas and strike a quick pose for the room full of adoring womens. Compare this pic with this one. Things started gettin nutty as the night progressed; Dawkness tried pinnin the tail on the Jenny and Dylan seized the role of the noise nazi.
Then there was Sasha’s, my favorite Russian chic. For this occasion I felt it necessary to come dressed with my favorite accessory, enjoy that corniness. she looks cute as a damn button there too. I fair well. So I spent the majority of that night bleeding profusely from the crater of the once proud pimple I tripled sliced with my fuckin Gillette Mach 3 turbo emo pain expression device razor. Half a roll of toilet paper later I was back in the game, beads of sweat clinging to each one of my ass hairs in the kitchen. It even looks sweaty in that picture. Sweaty Jimbo balanced shit on his head. Adam hosed puke off Sasha’s doorstep.
So I guess I never posted to the world about the aftermath of bambi colliding into my Celica, well it’s still in the family and I picked up a 1990 Toyota Supra, white, turbo, 5 speed, targa top, with about 105k miles. So I rock that pretty hard, its fast, its a tank and I love it.
Local Noise
Element94 is comprised of a 4 dudes from Belmont who rock socks off with well put together riffs and songs rich with universal meaning. Singer, John Lewis, belts out angst ridden lyrics telling of everything from missed romances to the denouncement of formal education. Element94 flourishes now from its once, humble roots back when their sound was nearly synonymous with that of a tourettes sufferer hijacking a microphone. Thankfully, E94 is no longer considered noise pollution but rather, the quintessential garage band turned local pop punkers from the peninsula. Check them out on MySpace, give “Every Little Bit Helps” a listen.
The KJA Pack, a title I bestow upon them only because they are formally untitled. The KJA Pack is comprised of K-Dubb, Jeff (or Fejj as I normally refer to him as), and Adam. Adam is the new addition to the mix, he brings yet another serving of Caucasian into the equation and he drives a Supra so I’m down with that. I’ve raved about these guys before, telling of their mastery on the mic, the flawlessness of the flows but I tell of them now as matured craftsmen of the clutch worthy of your listen. Check them out on MySpace, and give a listen to “Fresh Melon Smellin.”
Raul’s Son, my boy, former slayer at Aragon’s hip hop club. The once timid high school junior with curly fries for hair has transformed himself into a confident lyricist with vocab for days. Raul has refined himself into a eating and spitting hip hop powerhouse utilizing his weapons of mass construction, Raul pumps out lyrics like an overactive colon. Check him out on MySpace, listen to “Killa.”Honorable Mentions
Extremely Relaxed Animals : Barry from Element94 & Hoesafe combine their collective string plucking skills and harmonize in their rendition of Taking Back Sunday’s – A Decade Under the Influence.
Bird Announced Land : A melodic pair of ladies whose musical talent is only surpassed by their immense vernacular. Their one and only song is a tune I have yet to get over, I don’t know what it is about, but I think of it as audio ectasy. Check out their MySpace and listen to “To the Shore”
Quick, Go Put On Your Leisure Suit!
Between the everyday schooling, the Mon – Fri 7 hour days as Brady, Network Consultant extraordinaire, and my weekend title as Saver of Lives it’s a bitch to find time to cool out with the buddies, much less post about it. Seems like all the original gangstas are away at REAL colleges while me and Ian get our community college education at 8 bucks / credit. When I heard that Ally was home for the the weekend from SF State I pounced on her to hang out. Her reaction was less than enthusiastic, evident here, in this. When I wasn’t busy terrorizing pour Ally I could be found at 5story with Pinky practicing our Top Gun routine. RIGHTEOUS!
Got a chance to chill with Nat Queen Cole as well, talkin, bullshittin, laughin, throwin shit offa 5story, swimming back up into her birth canal, jus hangin out.
Jus last weekend I had the pleasure of coolin out at Umpy’s house, with the likes of Gannon, Josh, who reminds me of that dude from Half Baked who lives on the couch. It was a laid back night till Umpy caked a 25 year old attendee and relocated him to the kitchen floor shattering tasteful kitchenware in the process. I’d say that was the closet thing to an ol fashion cowboy saloon bar brawl I will ever see. After I sampled some full bodied Jamaican lager and successfully upgraded his router’s firmware I excused myself from the festivities and retreated to my car to begin the short drive home only to find my car enveloped in a new glossy finish. Not too many silkworms where I’m from so I figured I had been wrapped! Now I can think of far more useful applications for the wrap of seran but I guess Ian had other plans. With the help of Mr. Gannon I was able to get what seemed no less than 5 pounds worth of the wrappy substance from my car’s immaculate body. G’times.
