How NOT To Pick Up Girls…
I’m sure you all remember Natalie right? The one who was sportin a sling for her busted clavicle not so many days ago? My driving instructor? Oh and did I mention her clavicle (choler bone)?! And I’m sure you are all aware my brutish tendency to hug and pick up anyone and anything I can…Well, on Friday I felt the need for Natalie to experience one of my “pick-ups” so I went to hoist Miss Natalie up with the quickness, over my head, arms fully extended, keep in mind that’s gotta be like 7 feet up ya know? With that very same quickness, gravity immediately took the upper hand, and Miss Natalie came back down, 7 feet down without puttin her arms out or anything, jus one…nasty…fall, onto cement. She wasn’t gettin up, piss damn near trickled down my pantaloons while I’m thinkin to myself “wow…what the F jus happend.”
I guess I forgot to mention Ally, Julia, and Emily were all there…witnesses to my heinous act; 911 dialers. We heard the sirens of the Ambulance and FIRE ENGINE before they had even gotten close, by that time I was trippin pretty hard, and poor Natalie is on the cold hardass ground hopin her damn shoulder doesn’t fall off or somethin. As you can see in the photo on the top left, there were a bunch of EMT peeps to strap Nat into her stretcher and into the ambulance off to the hospital. I talked to her when she got back home from the hospital and she said that since her choler bone had never fully healed in the first place, it jus got more…broken. :P. So I guess that was probably the craziest thing I’ve been an accomplace to all year.
I guess there is much to be learned, if I was Jerry Springer, and I had final thoughts they would be as follows:
1. Power lifting is something that is to be practiced within the confines of a designated weight room or gymnasium2. Gentle landings are essential in well executed “pick-ups”
3. What I did was NOT how you should pick up girls…
Onto to far more upbeat matters, both myself and my lesbianish haircut were in attendance at this years “All City” dance and not to sound “overly-hip” or anything but I found the event to be somewhat “off da hook.” I can’t thank these wonderful ladies enough “scrunching” my hair and givin me a ride to the dance in a sweet convertible BMW. And hey look! We even posed for my momma ( happy mothers day by the way ) The quality of picture taking seemed to go downhill after our pose de mi mama and things were starting to get sour. Soon enough, the same things sweetened up again after Meg and Ashley’s duette / triette with Kelly Clarkson ( 7.9 MB ), I highly suggest downloading that. It was the first time I had brought my camera to a dance but it wasn’t the first time I’d forgot to take pictures :P. I snapped a few with the boys and one with jus Lenny. And one of Julia lookin mighty fine. Bada Bing.
Yeh I know the party at Megs was more than a week ago, but I feel that you deserve to know how kickass it truly twas. I share the kickness with you now:
Arrived with Ash’ms and quickly met up with some of my main mengs, caught a glimpse of my sleeping twin and his ass woke up for me and we posed, and posed the night away. Girls, Girls, different girls, hugging girls, my girl, humping girls, super tall girl?. Heres an unnecessarily small beeramid composed of completely light brews that was soon knocked the FUCK over by my clumsy twin. Heres a crew shot with me and my AZN boys and another with my other buddies and one more two chinned delight one to grow on. Why heck! There were crew shots galore at Meg’s that night, I was lucky to partake in some while I was lucky to not expose myself in others( pooooorr Sheila hah ) When Doug showed up he was immediately engulfed in a sea of hugs but swam out of it and had time for a quick shot with the ol boy. Thats not me, thats not a beer bong it is merely apple cider being served in tubing apparatus…I’m serious. That’s me and my 2nd biggest fan ( 1rst is John Ferrel ) and here is a video of why this man is my 2nd biggest fan ( 7.5 MB ). ( Warning : Kind of annoying ) Heres the obligatory shot of John and Jill acting like they’ve been goin out for 5 months or something…:P And of course, no night is complete without me tryin to rub some tit on somebody and no night is completely kick ass unless Meg herself is involved 🙂
So I guess you guys noticed that the site was suspended for a week eh? :/ Well I guess you could say it was partly my fault for being naive and CHMOD’ing way too many folders with way too many permissions. Basically the site was suspended cause someone exploited one of the CGI scripts on the server and spammed / mailbombed the bajeebus outta people using my SMTP server so I had to deal with the reprocussions of some jerkoff kid. Anyway, Many thanks to Shivin Hameed, Rob G, and Ren from my host for helping me get the matter resolved. But that’s really all I have to say about that, remember kids, CGI scripts aren’t for everybody and can be very dangerous at times.
Congratulations to my bro Pinky for gettin off Probation, tell Stephan R to keep that shit wild style, and I’ll smile, and yo check the floor, gods got nice tiles ;).
5/6/05
– I believe you have my stapler?
– A town called “Fucking”
– 8500 Calorie Manwich
– Lotsa Tongues
– Big fuckin dogs
– Celeb Lookalikes
– Pac-Man in real life?
– My Car’s Soundsystem
Almost Up
Got a new box that’ll rock yer socks. Intel P4 3.0 Ghz 800FSB, 1MB L2 Cache, with the hyperthreading dealio, got a new board to go with it, new case. New lights and stuff, lookin pretty spiffy. G’damn it was a bitch and a half tryin to get the damn thing up, and now thats its semi-functional, it doe’s this thing where it restarts for no froogin reason, and its drivin my nuts batty to the point where I almost wanna bat my nuts, jus playin yall. But once I fix that (which you know I will cause im solid like that,) all will be flowin. I gotta lotta bitchin gifts this year, that I’m very thankful for. I’ll give ya a full statement when im all up and runnin.
And Don’t forget about the new layout that im workin on sorta… :P. Jus buy a shirt man.
chillaxin
arry
looks like king nicky the kid is up in tahoe with some homies so here i am again fillin in after a hard days of work and fun now just chillaxin
after i get off work i go up to king nicky’s house to help russel out with nicky’s madres computer but if i havent maid this apperent than ill say it now….if its not nicks computer than the its unworthy of his attention so his mothers computer is as expected a wreck so me n russel try to spruce it up a bit and in doing that russel kinna pucked it up so naturally we leave after that happens heh heh, dont worrie ill go back tommarow . but any ways im in randys house and he gets back from drivin somwhere and he shows me these perty lil brass knuckels so i snatch em up real quick and i was off back to my humble abode
this is pinky saying
hastalamalaka
(sorry if i dont have any pics im only filling in for king nicky)
Segundo Anos para la NBHQ!
Thats right my Latin-American friends! NBHQ.net celebrates its one year aniversary witha new logo that in no way looks like its predecessor. 😀 One year ago to the day man…to the day! I payed 60 bucks to my great host and it couldn’t have been a better decision. Well there ya go, you can expect more updates to the site soon, and if you have any ideas or suggestions, e-mail me at [email protected].
So uh…my girl left for Tahoe this morning so im pretty much Kelsie-less for a week or so..but thats ok cause its only like 7 million more seconds :D. So today was pretty eventful I listened to some CD’s counted my change, played with mymonkey while admiring my guitars. Pretty fun.
I was at Randy’s this mornin, his mutha made us french toast, it was scrumtittyumptious, and the almightly, legendary, baddest sonuvabitch rUFF is supposed to come home tommorow morning, cross your fingies fellas.
Also, since it is our one year anniversary I give you the very first episode of the NBHQ Show, featuring some bia from New York! (You’ll need quicktime to view it, click below to download it)
Yeh and my very cool uncle whos one smooth operator took it upon himself to completely rent out Daytona on one of his days off, heeza stud in pull-ups, and hes even badder when hes actually in the car, if NASCAR drivin looks like a profession u might wanna get into, think about the 7$/Gallon price for pure super-duper premium gass-oh-leen.
I don’t care for bush, I can overlook his republican attributes and primeape like physical features, but I can’t overlook the fact is heeza stupid poo poo caka head who can’t run our country.
