Heyyyyyy It’s Our Buddy!
I’ts been sommore of the same as of late, goin to the gym everyday, self breast augmentation seems to be the way to go, I am benchpressing my way to B-Cups, curling my way to stretched out shirts. Ruff stopped by the other night, we walked down the hill in hopes of salvaging a uneventful Wednesday night and returned home with no avail. We made the most of our time and I busted out the ‘ol nintendo from the garage with a couple vintage cartridges. It’s been quite a while since I fiddled with that little grey box of joy, I forgot what a laborious fuckin task it is to get that sonofabitch workin, and Ruff’s limited expertise were’nt makin things much easier. Hoppin on mushrooms made it all worth the while.
Other than that, I’ve been kickin it with The Marauders for some days and some eves. Ridin shotty to some late night fly rides in this beaut right here, but thats jus until my car gets out the shop, oh did I mention I’m drivin now? Permit status bia. Anyway me and the boys could have been seen hoppin around on the 5-story, makin a ruckus, hittin people with cars ( 6.9 mb video ) and what not. But mostly jus jumpin and posin. Than we have Joe, our fearless driver, notice his cholarraised for heightened douschness and even Ian is in agreeance on that one…Stick to what you know Joe, advanced car audio repair, and watch out for hungry trunks and people highly prone to picking other people up.
We had ourselves a little jam session as well, and I met Matty, pretty G for a bitch. I took this hella artsy pic of Ian looking like he’s about seven feet tall. Shortly after Ian returned the favor and took this equally artistic shot of me makin a fishy guitar face. Lotta soulful acoustic stuff, Ian hit his pad while Joe cuddled in the other room oblivious to hidden cameras. G’times I say!
So this is the new layout, dropped ahead of schedule right in time for the first day of summer eh? Don’t worry if it loads slow or some shit doesn’t look quite right, it still has a lotta kinks/bugs that I am in the process of working out, like the text link colors on every other page except for this one need to be fixed. Other than that though…pretty much all the content pages are up, and I updated a lot of em too, so go through and check out every page using the drop down menu. Especially the Videos Section and Reviews Section Keep checking back for updates though, and leave a comment and tell me what you think so far.
– he…raped..a.dog…
– Name that Oldass Game
– The GoodYear Blimp Crashed
– Ghetto Ass A.C.
– Korean Children’s Drawings
– Monster Potatoe Gun
– altoids mp3 player
Hard Rock Livin
Got my first night of real sleep last night, all the rest didn’t count, this morning was a different morning because I counted it. One down. Hard rock music is how I’m feelin today, give me the tones, feed me H.I.M. and Finch is a good band. I got up pretty early and ate some shitty cheerios for breakfast in one of those dwarf boxes. Washed it down with some Chrys. Ruffles himself came over this mornin sportin his third car inna month. This onesa popo mobile complete with eight cylinders and a cool blue coord thingy and hard beat. Too bad he crashes all his cars, and almost ran me over when I tried to take a pic of em. Pretty sweet ride though, luxury interior, illegal tinted windows jus like Randy’s.
So yesterday, my pops picked me up to go to Hitwall so I could rock the guitar lika mutha fuckin killer. He slapped the bass around while I made my six string cry out loud. Got a nice lil session in before another band came in and gave us dirty looks for using their amps :P. Anyway I wasn’t about to get in a fight with a guy who speaks fluent klingon and probably carrys a phaser so we got outta there. Oh wanna hear somethin funny? My dad went through a carwashatta gas station, and halfway through it a chunk of bumper fell off. Pretty funny huh? Oh and his antanne snapped off too, hah frickin hah. Well if that dint make your serious ass laugh, maybe this pic of my cousin will.
Oh and also, ya know how I’ve been goin to the gym almost nightly with Eebs? Well the only reason I get it is because he flashes his card real quick and tells em I’m his brother Grant. So I try to kinda keep my head low and not make eye contact with the guys at the desk and get into the lockerroom ay-sap. Wull that worked for almost 2 weeks till last night, one of the new fucks musta looked Grants pic up on the computer and asked “Whens your birthday Grant.” Busted as fuck, had to pay the TWENTY DOLLAR guest fee, which I still owe him. Aint…thatta..bitch. Jus thought I’d share.
Now if you’ll notice on the right side of the site where it says how many people are online, its been over 100 almost all day peaking at almost 200. If your wondering what thats from, its the fact that our shoebox system section was featured on the legendary CollegeHumor. That also put NBHQ over the 1,000,000 hits mark. Ahhta way! Until next time bitches. Merry Christmas ya filthy animals
– Government : 1 – Drugs : 0
– A Frickin Laser!
– Site jacked my radio!
– Tee hee
– HELP IM STUCK
– Howard Stern Grilled Cheese
– Band Name Maker
Fer Sizzler
So this is the first post on the brand spankin new news script, lot more features, like word count, Antispam capabilities, and ya can’t forget this clean new look. I know it’s not totally stretched out, I’ll fix that when I fix it, but for now you can enjoy in all its squished glory.
So anyway, I felt that the bird was dry, but my wonderful Zia( who claims to read the site daily, and also threatend me if I posted that pic of her ) seemed to enjoy it. Did I mention I ate the dinner at my Nano’s (Italian for grampa I think), he can’t cutta bird like my Uncle, but boy can he inhale one. Dinner took way to long to get on the table, so I busied myself with creating a perfect boxing dinosaur etch-a-sketch drawing for which I received much praise and acclaim. I also ventured beyond the confines of my Nano’s “very expensive black iron fence” and into the vastness of his backyard Orchard with my other zia she pointed at stuff, I looked on, than I climbed up a tree By the time we were done with that jibba jabba we could see that the bird has landed and we could hear the angry spearing of the forks beginning.
Dinner was aight, once again those candied yams took the pie, hadda little coffee that tasted like cinnamon, made some funny faces with the cousins and maintained composure while the evil ankle nibbling shitdogs from hell jumped all over everyone.
So I went home with my Uncle William, he’s the good one, the one I get my height and positive traits from. Heez gotta flippin sweet pad over in Danville, hes got a flippin sweet workplace that he bangs buck with daily, complete witha warehouse of state-of-the-art audio visual equipment, server, and the 178 pound ball of tape oh and did I mention he has his own office…cause he does
First day there we took his batmobile-like Corvette over to Arioness Custom Motorcyle shop, where I was a witness to the supreme awesomeness that lay in front of me, they had some real nice stuff, I picked this one out for myself, but the prices were a little steep. Just for the record, my uncle is the shit.
So I took my camera to school on Wednesday and took some snaps and failed to post em before now so here I go!
Alex lookin funny in 1rst period science/physics class whatever it is, Adam flips me off, Alexa looks flattering between classes, Eebs makes “the face”, Evelynn looks hillarious, My boy Fahaad, John Ferrel with his blonde hair, Classic Grayson expression, John boy,Funniest photo I’ve taken inna while,
Leonard COX, Ricky, Kelsie’s old paperboy that got fired, Wong. And my pops sent me this portrait Allison did of me when I was jus a wee bia.
– Britney Out-white-trashes herself
– Aska Genie
– Holy Ode to Bob Saget
– Blatent Sexism is funny
– How to throw cards lika ninja
– Best MySpace Ever
– ALLAH ALLAHHHHH!
High and Dry, Buffalo and My, My, My…
Well yer I jus gert berk frerm Tahoe, but first I gotta post boot some unfinished buidness.
First and foremost, summerschool is way over no more wakin up at the cracka crack of dawn (9:00). Lookin back on it, it wasn’t all bad, havin Randy as my own private chef was the shit, Big R’s got the talents. Although scarfin down jurassic omlettes on the norm does jurassic things to your cholesterol, I’m plumpin up quite nicely. Jolly good. Anyway, the last day of summa skizzle, I had my first babysitting job, the victim you ask? Little Whamo, I would respond. Now for those of you who haven’t been fortunate enough to make Big Whamo your aquaintance I would urge you to do so. But in case your skills of inference have gone like the wind Little Whamo is indeed the little brother of Big Whamo / Tim Swartz. The kids aboot three and a half, and didn’t stop moving for the few hours he was over. The solution? Whip out my old batman costume See Lil Whamo in action here (video).
So the same day Kelsie was over and I felt it necessary to give the gift of fruitball to her, and I must say, she looks pretty hot witha batting glove and bat in hand, and very dangerous. I’m sorry to say I don’t have any footage of the actual peach-bashing taking place, although you can take my word for it that my girl can blast some produce meng. Anyway, after about four minutes of concentrated fruitball action we had to refuel with a bagel (chocolate chip), and a cake. Three bites of the cake later, she had collasped on the couch, kinda weird how she sleeps in poses huh? 😛 Throughout that day my mom was actin a ‘G the whole time, gots ta be reppin 650 bia bia. Oh and if you notice her hand, we had to tape her fingers like that cause she can’t make that sign, har de ha ha. Oh and the hat you ask? Won that in Santee Cruz, at the Boardwalk, the ‘ol guess how fast yer gonna throw the third pitch, three guesses, and six bucks later, it was Kelsie who guessed the lucky 74mph and VOILA, the pimp hat was mine. **Forget what I said about not having footage heres da Sugah in action fakin me out (video) & swing anna miss (video).**
Ok so that was like three weeks ago I know, now lemme talk about the week I jus had in Lake Tahoe. Anyone who has every had the pleasure of truckin up to Truckee or bringin their sugar to Sugar Pine knows how bitchin of a place it is. The scenery is jus…(not to sound corny) breathtaking, everywhere you go your encircled by the immense woodlands and you can catch a glimpse of the crystal clear waters whereever you go. If you wondering where I stayed, rest assured (as I did) that our accomodations were more than suitable, and by more than suitable I’m talkin a 3-story cabin with TV’s in all 5 or 6 rooms, pool table downstairs, 3 decks, nice ass bathrooms, a deer head AND a trash compacter la cocina :D. As for the daily activities, well folks that all ranged from powering down Sugar Pine river inna inflatable raft to pretending to know how to wakeboard. Scopin stars wiff Eebs, jammin wiff Eebs, shootin pool with Eebs, doin it all with Eebs. The Barons were there the first day, so we gots to get worked at the table by Nick Baron himself. Yep, one thing that was a total trip aboot Tahoe or at least the wildlife, was the fact that there wasn’t a single squirrel, but the place was loaded with these lil Alvin, Simon and Theodre chipmunk fucks, and it was pretty crazy how many butterflies were outside chillin, Eeb’s theory is that it’s matin season, so the butterflies are jus dancin around till they find anutha supafreak to get down with. There were so many of these lil buggers around that some actually made there way in the house check out my video of em (kinda choppy).
It was my first time up therr to Tahoe, and I got a lot of firsts out of the way, like..1.) the whole thinkin I have the motor skills and/or coordination necessary to stand upright on a wakeboard being slowly tugged aboot by boat, it was cool anyway, and nah Eeb’s couldn’t get his 6’4 (and a quarter) ass outta the water either. 2.) I got to try buffalo wings, kinda weird how I’m almost 16 and my tastebuds had never been invited to the spicy buffalo wing party, thats the shame of the game meng. 3.) On our last night there I gotsta get my grubs on with some actual buffalo meat in the form of some gerd arse steak, but come to think of it, it was damn good eats the whole time I was there.
Another crazy dealio aboot Lago de Tahoe was the insane altitude and lack of humidity. I was NOT diggin that aspect of it, I prolly came across as the most jumbo spaz sportin nosebleeds, and …jumbo spazness. Oh and my doo! My precious hair, got all outta whack and got all straight & thin, prolly cause it was jus so damn dry outside than as soon as I step outside the car when we get back to good ‘ol Mateo it turns into this. Insane.
Overall I’d hafta say that Lake Tahoe with Eebs and co. had to be one of the most badass trips of my days, and bein there wiff my bro Eeb’s jus further amplified the bitchiness, and I think the only way to end a my 2 cents on the trip would be including this flattering photograph of Matthew Ebert knuckle-deep in his own rectum.
So that was than, and today is today, woke up as early as my dad was late to pick my up and haul me over to Tracy, CA to my Uncle’s pad so I could pick up this thousand dollar racing bike that I’ve been lookin forward to. On the way there we spotted this bloke on the road, and I instinctively tooka lil video of the wasian (white-asian-wannabe). Yeah and my cousin D-rel was therr as well cool cat if ya ask me, and my Uncle…well check out these pics of him in his dept of homeland security gear and try…jus TRY to tell me he aint the baddest mudda round dem parts. Yep, so we went Kayaking in the morning, and I went home with this bike crazy colors eh? I would concur.
Yeh so I hope your glad im back to posting, Pinky did his duty but I think its time he go on hiatus:
