Not Down With HMB

I am not a hateful man, nor am I a one of prejudice, however, I can say without the slightest reservation; I don’t care so much for Half Moon Bay, California. It’s not the pumpkin festivals I don’t like, it’s not that the entire town smells a little bit like fish to me, it’s certainly not the scenery, for Half Moon Bay boasts some beautiful views. I could give two shits for HMB solely because of the entire teenage population that inhabits the Half Crack Basin. You see, it all spawned from a houseparty some time back. Us San Mateo’ians were havin ourselves a fine ol time before Captain Redneck and the barnyard bunch arrived chins bulging with the spittin tobac-ee. I switched into gentlemen mode greeting this alien party-goers with a formal head gesture signifying a “How-do-you-do” it was met with a quick and rather vulgar retort of “Whatever fag.” Before jumbo could empty out his cheek load I was surrounded by pitch-work wielding Half Mooners…Now looking back…I think that not trying to fight was indeed the best decision, if I were brut enough to knock a few pins down I still got the Cletus and his brother to watch out knaw mean? Plus our Russian friend Smirnoff might have played a role in the entire situation. The matter stands. So anyway I bring that up because the other day Joe, Ben & I headed over into enemy territory to look at a automobile canidate for Joe. After sitting in traffic for half an hour because of god damn pumpkin festival we took a gander at the car hopeful, check out the bangin 6 cylinder beast with a family of rats or birds chillin near the nozzle doo-dad and how bout the luxurious interior, too bad for the poor hobo that took a shit and died in it. Good ol Half Moon Bay

On some lighter notes, howza boot some new school shots like showin us how its done, the gals, the pals, the porno stars and the crazy punjabi from Pakistan throwin up Allah knows what.

I listen to Mike Jones, I know who he is, why does he keep giving his phone number out? Mike Jones is lonely.

My shoulder hurts and I am in dire need of some PCP or somethin to alleviate my agony and give me the performing edge over my peers.

– *** The New Photo Gallery Kicks Ass ***
– *** The New Babes Section Is Online ***
– *** New Tracks Added to Radio ***
– NES Micro
– Shark VS Octopus
– Backwards Songs
– Big Stupid Boobs
– The MySpace Hacker

7 comments