So basically it was the best 11 bucks I’ve spent period. Ian and I went to Natalie & Julia to reassure others of our masculinity but on the inside I was about to squeak with excitement! Now I would hope all of my loyal readers have seen the juggernaut video if not, make sure you do. Classic. But anyway that only amplified my sweaty palm rubbing, butt clenching, eye widening anticipation and me and Ian were at the each of our seat waiting to see our pal juggs!
Now, at first sight the hollywood-ized Juggs looks a less imposing than his cartoon counterpart but rest assured, he delivered the one liner we were begging to hear:
And so once again I have experienced another “last”, never again will I go dumb in a gymnasium, or on a lawn, or anywhere on my high school campus. No one will ever hear my thunderous stomps put dents in the dancefloor, no one will ever feel me crush their toes the midst of a slow jam, the luau was it, and if you didn’t go, ya missed it. Time has passed, friendships grown, and sustained, I am still confident in my abilities to grab the womens these days, and yesterdays. I have but two words of advice to share with the incoming seniors reguarding the luau dance:
I tried my best to fool people into thinking I had hips and any remote control over their movement but still managed to fail miserably in contrast to this lovely couple of vivacious vixens.
Meg got her tongue pierced, she wouldn’t let me touch it, I told her my priest says its natural, but I accept that she has different views and I guess we can hold off on the tongue touching. The cracked out expressions must continue though.
So I’m a sweaty bastard, notice my facial perspiration after hopping around for a few minutes trying to pass it off as dancing. Now check out these scary motherfuckers Martin rockin a god damn trenchcoat in the god damn sahara desert climated gym. Wanna run into that mother at the 711? He’ll kill your ass then send his dog to come eat your face off.
Senior activity is that surge of momentum that spins the wheel of time ever faster, and realistically, besides graduation that was probably the last time the whole senior class will ever be together again. I’d say that in itself warrants celebration and that we did. Buddy Jilly is shown here gettin CRAZY hyphy in the early morn. This pic tickles me cause it looks like Natalie is the baby and Ally is her hippy mother, Joe thought the same thing. Ian & I were bus buddies, (enjoy my snaggle tooth), I’m pretty sure the last time I was on a bus I didn’t hit my head on the ceiling, ahhh the magic of steroids!
In case you were unlucky enough to not attend or if you were even unluckier being a junior or under let me fill you in: We are shipped off from school to the park in buses and then unleashed to go run around, skate with no pads, jump,jump, jump around, be emo, THE CHOICE IS YOURS!!!
Then began the waterfight in which no one was spared, not even teh teachers. I’d like to think we did the community a charitable service of watering their park lawn with gallons and gallons of fighting water rather than saying Rachel poured bottle after bottle down my hairy asscrack.
Did I mention I went to this celebration sportin my highlands shirt representin the c/o 1999 5th graders cause I like to do it big at events such as these.
I must say those 4 and a half hours of water soaked grabass were some of the best and shortest lived memories I shall retain, it wasn’t two blinks later that we were averting the school provided buses and cramming ourselves into Ashley’s dad’s suburban, Ian’s expression is menacing isn’t it?
We got back to school right as it got out and the jealous juniors were gettin out after pushin pencils and sniffing ass all day with plans to head over to the beach to sustain our funtimes. Now I must place a tidbit of blame on myself for not protesting when the Half Moon Bay beaches were suggested and me, feeling how I feel about Half Moon Bay should have ripped out the larynx of whoever uttered its ugly title. As soon as we got in our cars and headed down skyline we immediately noticed our almost tropical San Mateo weather whither into a nipple raising Half Moon Bay climate. Needless to say we hightailed it back to Christa’s pool and I swiftly exposed my tots picked up sommore girls ate some pizza and called it a kickass day.