Month: April 2005

Eeb’s “Relatively Small” Social Gathering

Eebs and I let our testicular fortitude overwhelm logical thought last night when we decided that it would be a night of good times, good people, and cheap beer. It’s a tid difficult to recollect all of last nights happenings, but with the help of incriminating photographical aide I will certainly try for yas. At first it was jus Pinky, Eebs, and I cleanin up shop so we could better accommodate the “relatively small” amount of guests. A fire was lit so feet could be kept toasty, Derek’s services were called upon cause we needed a full-bodied cranium to wipe down the counter with. The Pinkster and I may have gotten a little headstart on the whole beverage race but I could guarantee this little lady right here was in a close second. Jack and Jill made it up the hill and blessed us all with a visit, and even laid some shit down on the ol pong table. Meanwhile, Eebs and Kelly were inside lookin at baby Eebies in ol photo books I’m guessin, but the cool people stayed in el garage. In case you didn’t know, Kairon has a new life partner who gives out supreme neck massages, but has little endurance and tends to take frequent breatheres in lawn chairs (notice his eyes haha). Myself on the other hand loaded up on ginseng and wheatgrass before I arrived so I was wired like a…knot..factory and was takin pics with all kindsa celebrity peeps! I got one with Jessica Biel, Cinderella, Ashlee Simpson, Lindsay Lohan, and even Brad Pitt! Needless to say, I was having a very good time and owe several thanks to my good buddy and our fearless host Eebs himself. Yeh and as I stated earlier Emily was pretty effin effed up, the atmosphere was rather romantic at the foot of the staircase and I was fortunate enough to witness the sacred female on female bonding ritual followed by some explicit nude tongue in cheek sloppy girl on girl action LIVE XXX (NOTE: not for the squeamish or faint of heart) Pinky even peaked his pink little head through the door to spectate such a sacred event, and I made this crazy ass chin face. Oh and did I mention Sum Yung Fuk spilled his/her beer on Matty’s exquisitely tasteful rug, that’s a definate party foul if I do say so myself (and I do). And so the night wore on, ninjas were dropping left and right, I went into chillax mode after the effects of my ginseng and wheatgrass were overwhelmed by the euphoric forces of the aged oats and barley set in. Soon enough the sun was about to come up again and only four of us remained, and so fifty-two cards were brought out and kings was played. Eebs pondered while Ash’ms eyes wandered all the while everything kinda looked like this

Mail Order Chickens
Rap’s Forefathers
Weirdest Site Ever
Turning an Acura into a Ferrari

Teenage Mutant Turtle Prank Callers

My phone rings, 6:00 PM on Wednesday, I dish out the standard “Hello?” and in return this little tiny voice peeps out: “Do you have my turtle?” Curiosity takes hold and I inquire to know more about the missing turtle in question. The faint voice(s) tells me the turtles name is “Myrtle”, and has this name engraved on his shell…Thankfully this narrowed down the search criteria and yielded much hope for the discovery and safe return of Myrtle the turtle. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve gotten my fair share of phone conversations like this, but this one had me THOROUGHLY perplexed. To make matters even more bewhildering, after our 14-minute talk came to an end and I went out and came back only to find this on my doorstep. How bout that eh?

It’s been a most bountiful week to say the least, Monday came, Wednesday Came, and Friday definately came. As you can tell, the featured photo has been updated; that’d be Pinky when we went to Micky Dee’s the other day and he consumed about 1/3 of an entire cow and washed it all down with the McChode sized water beverage.

I mentioned goin to Tower last weekend or something and pickin up some radder than rad posters; well heres the ali one, pretty badass to say the least, Ali kicks your ass. And, damn near equivalent in ass-kicking factor we have the Zeppelin one right next to Robert Marley. Pretty sweet eh? My goal is to get my walls almost completely covered while complying to local fire hazard safety regulations ;).

Added a couple of Videos today, the first being Doyle briefly doing “The Robot” in the middle of class which I predict will soon be a classic. You can download that one here 4.6 MB. The other video is one I’ve been meaning to upload for some time now, surely you all remember Shrek the lovable plus-sized daredevil who slowly rises at the oppurtunity to pound down some nasty ass, old, nasty ass, warm and nasty ass lemonade…anyway download that shit Here 6.8 MB. Remember, you can still download the old videos here.

If you’ve noticed the gradual cutting back of affiliates / plugs on the right side of the page, it’s only because all the fuckin sites seem to be dyin out a rapid ass pace. What the ass is goin on? If you have a decent site, e-mail me if you wanna swap links, use any of theseto link me back and I will surely do the same, tryin to get this ish back in motion okay?

Saturday night will soon be upon thee and I intent to snap some shots mmmkay? Stay up and keep on keepin my friends and accomplaces. Anyone down to followin me down to the Rose Parade? 😉

Shocking truth about the new pope!
Would you go on this?
This will make you feel like a failure
Blow Up NBHQ
Statue Molesters

Gettin A Lot Off My Chest

Wow, it would appear the teachers have me and the rest of my classmates (of the same gender) by the balls as of late. I’ve never had so much ba-dunka-dunk junk to do in sucha cramped amount of time, and believe me, I got the cramps. Why they gotta cram me with this jibba? Why do they find it so utterly neccesary to cramp my style? Surely they know I have half-dozens of loyal and deserving fans that NEED to be informed jus HOW LONG my nap sessions are and jus HOW tight my educators are applying the vice grips to my testiculars…But uh, I’m hopin once I get past this “fart gust” of homework and “ass tsunami” of projects than it’ll be clearr sailing down shit creek. Also, please be informed that I absolutely LOATHE feces and positively DETEST mayonaise…That is all…Oh and I also tend to dot dot dot when I plan on filling space and bulkin up the word count so it looks like I’m writing more about cool stuff that really isn’t happening because I need a god damn poop-tube to stay afloat in this piss pool of school..fool. Wasnt that cool?

Your wondering why Sideshow Bob is shown in the top left in the conventional benchpressing position eh? So ya know how I have weight lifting as a class 4th period? Well now ya do. I’ve been hittin up that bench pretty hard lately, (among other things) started out the year strugglin with 185 lbs and now, 65 pounds and 3 G’s worth of anabolic steroids later you’ll find my name on the Aragon Bench Board for 2 5 0 pounds baby…It’d be nice to hit at least 275 by the end of the year and at least 300 before I graduate from this place. Now if I can only get to liftin dem grades eh?

Speakin of good time kick ass matters, I went to Celia’s, a fine-by-me Mexican resturaunt that meets all of my Mexican needs and than saturates them in the yummy yummy expand my tummy fried ice cream. My reaction? Wow. I thank the scientist community of the world for applying themselves for generations and unlocking the secrets on how to fuckin DEEP FRY ice cream…I feel sorry for the poor saps who might have lived their whole lives without being exposed to the technological advancements that those fortunate enough to be living today, can spoon down our lucky little gullets. God bless you Celias…Yo quiero tu.

Went downtown with somma my boys the other night, yeh Matty Ebert drove, and yeh we had pizza, and you better fuckin believe it was Pizza My Heart. No I didn’t bring my camera, but Allah as my witness I will next time cause you can bet your mommas southern can there were some powerful photo ops that the press woulda loved to get their grubby little hands on. Like maybe a movie of Eebs studdering and stammering than bursting into uncontrollable laughter, or maybe a still shot of Pinky flipping off a officer of the LAW, or the infamous shot of like fourteen naked girls makin out. You love it.

I went to longs and had about 75 pics developed that I had takin with my digital camera, which is pretty fuckin high on the kickass meter. I highly recommend that if you have takin, or been a part incredibly cool photographs, that you have them printed out, costs .29 cents per 4×6 and they are .19 cents if you buy more than 25, and 75 is more than 25 and 75 is 50 more than 25 therefore they are unequal. So what I got out the experience was, a loss of twenty three dollars and fourty nine cents, and not one but two bulletin boards fulla insanely badass shots of my lovers and friends. Rasta!

Largest Humans Ever
aqua teen carl soundboard
pedros house from napoleon dynamite
Make Your Own Boyband
Free Ass Paste
World Jump Day
No Armed Swimmer
My Friend Todd Morrison

Come Friday

A week is has been…STAR testing, means bubbling for all, and muffins for some… As for myself, when in doubt I went with “C” and felt that the PTA let us down in the muffin department. For shame PTA…for shame…Bring back the chocolate ones, thems were the shit, and get those lousy “air-tasting” ones outta my sight. One numb ass, 145 minutes, and 14,000 or so bubbles later we get to go outside, grab sommore air muffins and come back in to my (still warm) chair.

In other news, my dog is real fat but she makes up for it in personality. This image is real crazy cause it depicts my rapid transformation from human being to E.T. perhaps it could be interpreted as an age progression thing, YOU TELL ME! As I type this, my very favorite tiki reminds me that there is homework to be done… There is yak on my phone but I’ll be sure to clean it before it is put to very good use ;). I’m reading super cool computer books again so that I can achieve the title of grandmaster in our D&D circle and more realistically get my A+ certification this summer so I can work the register at Micky Dees more efficiently.

As you can plainly see, there really aint much good goin on in the hood, nothin bad either, as always Friday will most definately kick a well portioned amount of ass, and this highly anticipated assload will most likely carry over into the weekend. Than maybe I can take sommore damn shots and film sommore crazy S.O.B’s eatin bugs and shit, get this damn thing kickin again.

Another Crazy Flash Vid
Beating Up Preschoolers
Quite Possibly the Coolest Belt Buckle Ever
Napoleon Dynamite Legislation?
New Street Figher?

1 2