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Bay To Breakers : 2005

Woke up, got up near 7 O’clock threw on my runnin attire and BART’ed and MUNI’ed into the city con mi padre. For those unfamiliar with BART Train, MUNI Bus, and other archaic forms of public transportation lemme lay it down for ya illigits right quick : You have a tedious game of “tug-the-dollar” with the ticket machine till it shits out a lil blue ticket that grants you access to the BART train. I’ve never met this BART guy before, but I hope he knows people piss in his train and fart in his seats. As for Mr. Muni, he must be aware that some of his riders reek of P’tuli. Anyway, enough digression…We got off BART at a quarter after 8:00, which meant that we were 10 minutes late, years from the start line, and the Kenyans were prolly already halfway finished.

One of the coolest things about Bay To Breakers is the fatty tortilla fight ( video 7 mb ). This year I was sure to come prepared, oh and notice the bitchin NBHQ beater, custom made by my pops. Yeh thats right, my pops, slash running buddy, slash temp photographer ( he took all the pics this year, so if they suck it’s his fault ). After my 50 tortillas were hurled into the sea of runners like stones in a big smelly pond, I tried to penetrate the masses, and believe me when I say there was an assload of people, and by assload, I mean assload!, 60,000 easy. Everyone has bib numbers with mad digits, I was 39,361 and my pops was 39,362, the Kenyans had numbers 1-7…fancy that.

8:45 – we cross the starting line, tens of thousands of people in front of me, and tens of thousands behind me, including my dad ;). The first mile or so is really a crawl cause of all the drunkin staggering irish and slow batches that jus get in the way of me, Mister Speedy Gon-fucking-zales. Speakin of which, peep this broad throwin up the M-E-X, in yo face! Pope was there, he really is a down to earth guy, which is comforting to know cause…pope on a rope, thats why. Heres a guy on stilts, how bout that eh? Once again, my dad took these so… ;P. Once I broke through the “Human Wall” and got to the second mile or so I was makin some damn good time, passin bias up with the quickness, powered up Hayes Hill and carefully even ran down it, ( thank you to Eebs for the downstair training ). Mile 5 : I ran paste the buffalo in Golden Gate Park, thought I was trippin out after I saw a group of people in dead fish costumes dancing in unison. Gravity starts to push a little harder at Mile 6 and you can cook an egg on my tits, or hatch one in my armpit only to die by the fumes. After I saw the 7 mile mark I sprinted it, realizing that the Kenyans had probably finished half an hour ago and my dad was prolly callin a cab by now. And so I finished, came in 9855th place ( checked online ) with a time of like 1:50, but ya know…we dint really start till like 40 mins into the race…either way, my dad beat me last year, and this time round I beat him by half an hour and he got 19220th place. The student has become the teacher old man…

Went to Footstock afterwards, lookin to meet up with my LONG LONG lost dad, and grab some meat on a stick. Twas an eversweet reunuion indeed, poppa recollected seein some naked people and gettin the camera out to exploit and capture the beauty! He got himself a kick out of it, aint nothin but an old meng thang.

Kisses my stompers for gettin me through such a trek with minimal blistering, and picked some ORANGE flowers sweet like someone I know ;). Got on Mr. MUNI’s bus and headed home, to deliver some flowers ;).

– Crasy ish with legos
– Babes
– Kelly Osbourne – Big girl
– False alarm : Chappelle not crazy
– German Addicting Game – Submitted by Gio
– Click this for NBHQ

Girls Who Visit Coastal Shores

First and foremost I wanna know if you know jus saw how much ass Atmosphere really kicks…Have you heard this track? If not, I demand that you click it lika professional clicker and download it. Jahhh brahhh its dat good.

These two ladies had a lovely outing at the beach the other day, and my friendly photography correspondent Ashley Slocum captured some of the good times. Here gazes Emilylookin into the deep blue yonder, and here squats Ashley acting like she can’t get any blonder. HAH! Rhymes! And exclamation marks! And check out this kickass NBHQ dedication, hell yes, keep up the wonderful work ladies.

Now that I got that out of the way, I gotta rant and vent about how lame one of my neighbors is. First off lemme give you a little backround on the guy, he moved in about…less than a year ago im guessing which makes him a fresh fucking fish in this “community” that we live in. He’s old but not eldery, freakishly tall, (about six-foot fifteen im guessing) and on many occasions has offered to babysit. I can remember one time I could hear his T.V. blaring from downstairs and when I went to go check what he was watchin, cause im snoopy like that, and I stumbled upon this! Now that we established that he’s a frickin freak, (frick to the max), check out this letter he pinned up at like 5 different places in the building. “Footprints in the community,” yeh I bet he likes feet too, maybe he’ll appreciate one size 14 footprint up his colon! I don’t know why this bothers me so, I jus think its a dick move to bitch about shit like that, I gotta deal with the hippopatamus upstairs that makes the ceiling creak, the barking dog who swings larger testicles than this shitstick. And if im the “bass sound” that he speaks of than thats even more of a dick move, fuckin “day sleepers” can kiss my gorilla ass and getta job. Eat my bass jerkoff. Rant Completed.

Saw my dawg, Randy, at my school today when he shoulda been at is, creepin up in his blackass regal, like a big ol..stealth bomber, cept loud, and not stealthy. I tried one of those crest brush-up things too, ya know the lil strip you put on your finger and rub your teeth with? I gotta praise the guy from Asia who thought that up, and I gotta give props to the American s.o.b. who jacked his idea and overprised it. Only reason I got it was cause that bigass Travis had about infinity samplers in his makeup bag. Lucky me, my grill feels spectabulous!

Oh and another thing! Much to my dismay and I mean MUCH, my damn iPod is full! No more space, 15 gigs filled up, am I the first person in the universe to ever do this? Cause if I am I want a medal, no joke, with lil diamonds that spell out my name, filled with crystalf. Bitches, and when I day, I wanna how I wanna go out.

I don’t have much to say about the new layout, haven’t made a lotta progress on it, busy I guess, gonna go see H.I.M. tommorow night, hell yes! Lotta concerts in the next month or so, PEPPER! (will be soooo goodd), Atmosphere (hopefully), and Zion-I. Wow good times ahead. But about the layout, I still don’t really know how to go about it, more input would be appreciated, hah that’d make a funny slogan for a pair of undies haha. Anyway I fixed the guestbook so that you can finally add a pic in there, so go sign it AGAIN…domo arigato bitches.

P.S. Click this to vote for NBHQ

– Guy beer bongs a thing of JD
– Hellova Dunk
– Everyday San Mateo News…
– Napoleon Dynamite Died??!
– Paris Hilton gets her phone hacked
– See the shit Paris Hilton had on her phone
– Click this to vote for NBHQ

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I Cant Rhyme, Neither Can You

Happy Valentines days you stupid jerks! Up until this year this is a holiday that has always been dreaded by yours truly, this year was an exception got some very wonderful cards from some very wonderful people, the candy gram that never reached its destination made it all happen though ;). “I wanna get you flowers, buy you a garden, I wanna give you the sky to dive in” that’s for that special one :). Plus nobody I know got killed in South Central, LA, today was a good day.

Ok so before I get carried away with some holiday, lemme jus ask you this: Are you ready to rock? Cause I am mutha fucka! So after my late afternoon powernap, I was jus chillin with my dog while chatting with hot babe online, so much so that it made me glow! Anyway, pausing the babe chatting, I had to get ol tina equipped to handle the rain! I gotta say, she looks pretty damn funny inna poncho, iono why she got so pissy…

So the Grammy’s eh? Ehhhhh?? Yall see my boy Kanye jack all those trophies? Did you see when he grew wings? How many red bulls? And me and Eebs are in agreeance that he gave the most badass acceptance speech of all time “People askin me what I would do if I didn’t win this year…I guess we’ll never know.” Whatta savage beast! And I know you all saw mi amigos, the Los Lonely Boys, and I’ve been tellin you they’re good, and did I lie? NO! And if you are still denyin their greatness…than tenemos carne…

Man no one drinks more water and more milk than me..I go through 24 packs of agua weekly! Gallons of milk..cause thats how the big boys do it, strong bones, and watery bellys. It’s very possible that I may be craving this because I might be pregnant…im 16 years late! 🙁 …Anyway this is turning out to be one of those weird posts I spit out every once and a while..dunno if it’s a good thing or a bad thing. Humm, you guys can send me an e-mail at [email protected] if you have some kinda cool thing you want me to post, or put on the site somehwhere..I gotta few ideas up my pants but not many, send me an e-mail bia. And Sign the guestbook, after you comment of course :).

– Dropkick the punks!
– Courtney Loves Schedule
– Easy Bake Oven for your computer!

What More Can I Say?

Hopefully my verses can be a consolation for my lack of posting as of late, sorry fellas and ladies, I’ll be gettin on my eyes soon, (lemme stretch first). Anyway one reason why I haven’t posted (among so many more important things) was because my elderly keyboard was all outta wack from being dropped too many times *COUGHRANDYCOUGH* so the [ ENTER ], [ BACKSPACE ], [ LEFT ], and [ 1 ] keys were all not working so I jus picked up a new one today. Along with shellin out twenty bucks for a very regular keyboard, I went runnin with Randy in Foster City. Probably the best one I’ve ever done, we ran a buncha miles, along the water, under the San Mateo bridge, through the thick soup fog, with my best friend Randy. Its a hell of a thing to know someone since preschool and to be runnin alongside him twelve short years later. It’s a hell of a thing.

New Years Eve Party at Matt’s was good times, lotsa heads showed up, probably peaked at about 30 or so, and I was deeemd bouncer, although I didnt really bounce too many people. Beer bongs were used spontaneous hugs were issued the formal dress code was followed. Was good times though, those guys from Serra (all dude school) were good people, this chic is cool too, too bad she got super blasted and required me carryin her outside to “water the bushes”, and when I saw water, I mean..the act of regurgitation. This chic couldn’t stop calling more people over so *I threw her out on the street and told her there were rules in life…* So heres a pic of the host with the most Matty Ebert himself! And if your wondering how you can view ALL of the pics of that night, go ahead and crick here * That was total bullshit I made up *

Finals are near, and I was looking into something when my boy Curran sent me here, made me chuckle but than I went back to pretending I was looking into something. Finals suck.

So of course I have to say something about the Tsunami, I think it’s horrible and shouldnt be taken lightly, so thats pretty much all I’m gonna say, and I am amazed at the courage, tenacity and unity of the human race, check out this footage of a tidal wave comin towards a hotel, that must have been absolutely terrifying…Anyway click click here to donate money to the relief fund, I’ve put in 2 bucks at my school, every bit helps.

Keep on keepin on, I’ll be runnin, and we’ll be flyin again soon enough girl.

– Spiderman Flash Movie (funny)
– This guy performs all the sonic the hedgehog tunes
– Quite a Shaming
– Satellite Photos of the Tsunami
– Car got snowed in
– Make your own southpark dude
– Pinky would love this
– How to be Emo
– Make your own southpark dude