May I start this post by informing you all that I type this on my brand new box, put together with my bare hands. So last weekend was spent with the boys: J-Boy and I-guy up at Russian River. We spent our time driving my momma into a tizzy gettin thizzy and sippin on that potent oil. Brandy was our poison of choice and we did what damage we could to our brain cells and kidneys lickety split, Joesef on the other hand showed his true womanly colors and coughed up his first swigthrough his nose, but hey, what do u expect.
Hope you enjoyed that stupid rhyme scheme and thats all the talking about Russian River that I can handle.
Last night I was working on this very post when I heard a rapping at my bedroom window, I knew without a second thought that it was Emily & Ashley on the other side…for months I have been the subject of their well executed pranks, everything from chalkings, to car saran wrapping to downright threats. This latest attack however, takes the win, lady pads covered in ketchup lined my walls…the pungent tomatoe-ey aroma was quick to suffocate any and all fresh air out of my walkway not to mention the visual atrocity of feminine hygeine products that have no place on a boys wall. I don’t think I am alone in thinking that had to be the nastiest prank of all time. Thanks beezies.
Consider this a belated but very sincere happy birthday to one of my, and ya better believed we celebrated in style orderin up some bacon wrapped in bacon wrapped in a cube of butter deep fried with ranch for dipping at TGI mutha fuckin F Fridays. I enjoyed the girl to me ratio that night , although I could have done without nasty ass quesidilla that did not agree-a with my tummy nor my bowels. Sick. Other than that though I’ve been takin pics of joe talkin on my old phone, along with lighting those sword weed things on fire on tennis courts late at night. Oh did I mention I made yearbook photo staff? Who woulda thunk that? I guess I got the whole school’s administration on the jock eh? Still liftin the weights, im up to 1…toyota , I keed, I did hit 275 on the bench though which was my goal for the first semester and I am determined to hit 315 by the time I graduate from this zoo.
I spent this past weekend in Pacific Grove, my old roots, watchin my girl win a swim in some cold, bitchy waters, I thought the whole thing was inspirational, I mean…if she can do it why can’t anybody? Why…I bet even this special lil fella could give it a go. In all honesty though I was proud of her, it’s one thing to do the damn thing and swim more than a mile, it’s another to get 2nd place. This pic cracks me up looks like a papparazi shot, she liked this pic cause it looks hallmarky, and it does! Bitches. Click here to see the rest of the pics I took from the weekend Some are in here too.
The next post will be better and beefier, I got the biography page up along with some other ones. Do me a fatty favor and click my adds. Danny Marchette already made my ass more than 15 bucks, thanks ya lil skirt fuck.
Spent the last couple days in Tahoe again with my lovely girlfriend eatin filet mignon and ridin wave runners, no biggy. We met up with Ash’ms and the rest of her family, and their big nice boat, with two big nice tubes. Tubing was damn fun. Than we upped the antee a bit and busted out the wakeboard. At which point, Ash, Julia, and Danny Boy made me appear in the lamest of ways. I’m not gonna even try to lie, me and gravity arent the best of friends and “graceful” is not a word I would use to describe myself as, espcially when it comes to getting my sasquatch-ass feet inside the footholes made for ordinary humans. When we were through, we stumbled upon a crawdad or two, they’re big, and scared the crawpoop outta julia. Anyway, more steak and cake was eatin and Danny and I failed at giving Julia a dirty sanchez.
Sidekicks are rediculously stupid, however, obscene 3-fingered gestures are not. Pinky should start of his clothing line, one that sells shants exclusively. The crew, more than 20 men strong, ( 40 balls in all ) gathered at the 5 story after most partook in acts not looked fondly upon by college boards and federal authorities, our good friend Umpy was feeling a little “under the weather” and sought sweet relief as he violently hurled mouthful after moutful of the substances that had nauseated the lad. I honestly cannot explain the vileness of the situation, watching the “upchuck” trickle down the side of the 5 story parking garage, floor after floor like a little barf slinky, each chunk glistening in the late night moon light…Nasty
Holy Cannoli we missed the Italian Festival this year! A major blowit indeed, prolly serves me right for thinkin I could walk there in time with good ol Ian. POR QUEEEEEE?! And aint that a kick in the head, seein all those lil one-time-a-year stands closin shop, the orange julius knockoff stand, the pina kowlada in a pineapple stand, and runnin into bro Jared. For shame. The day was salvaged after a visit to La Cumbre ( best burritos in the world ). The night began with a downtown stroll, and yes it is very cool havin a buddy in the motion picture biz, all flicks should be free.99. We had a run-in with the now chain-smoking Aaron at a different taqueria ( that has the best horchatas ). Joe got off work soon after and they were lickin the cold stone walls and drooling at its female employees. Anyway, the horchata was tossed and I got to come home to this, no complaints.
School starts soon, my birthday is the 25th, I’ll whip up another layout or somethin. I’m selling my computer. My room looks amazing thanks to E & A. The next post will be better.