Jah Suhm Tings
Don’t call it a comeback, ive been here for days,
Been layin low, keepin my song silent in so many ways,
Coastin on this ride, gliding on this wire
Whinin to the chief, reason has yet to inspire
Sorry I havent posted inna yiddle yit, been busy with
the better things, but I been keepin it real. I like to apologize to mah boy Eebs and my sista Ash’ms cause they be numero uno fans of my hanus site, and for their loyalty and utter devotion to me, I am grateful. Don’t know why im so tired right now, but im kinda stickin to this leather chair and its startin to smell somethin fierce.
Speakin of smellin somethin fierce, howzza bout Eebs sportin the lobster-smellin new ride. Thats right bitches, Matthew Ebert jus bought his very first car, is it sick you ask? Is it sexy? Does it melt in your mouth? Does it fit in your hand? Neh my friends, well…it is sexy, and sick and it does melt in your mouth, but that thing I said about it fitting in your hand, well…that was jus mindless slander. For that I apologize… Anyhoo, Eeb’s ride has many-a-perks, for example, premium boston acoustics soundsystem, with a 10 disc CD changer in the rear, right were my boy Eebs loves it. Its got automatic everything EVEN WINDOWS, and heres the killer…are you ready? For the killer? Ok enough warning here it is…Martha fawking SEAT WARMERS!. Are they good? They ask me..are they good? Well my friends let my expression speak for itself. Sweet ride Eebs
Yeah, did I mentioni hafta go to summa school? No im not takin advanced classes to broaden my horizons, no im not getting a headstart on the lil bitches behind me, no sir, for you see…I am the little bitch behind YOU. Let my GPA speak for itself. So I guess Harvard can wait. But summer schools a drag man, no matter what way you look at it, everyone there speaks tongan, everyone is packin WAY more heat than I am, and..for me…2(3x + 5 -17x) + 34 – 3x still equals I DONT GIVE A SHIT even in the summer, so…you can take that juris-my-diction garbage, and cram it up your ass.
If ya notice in the runs section, there havent been any updates since Bay to Breakers, the reason for this, is that I havent been runnin with my dad, and hes the camera man, so…I go solo. I run everyday, around CSM, sometimes a few times, take the backroads home, and go wee wee wee all the way home. Man oh man, I tell ya what though, my feet still have the dead layers of skin that were hangin off my foot around mile 6 of the Bay to Breakers. Nastee.. Luckily I got these lil puppies that give my lil piggies a well deserved break, yes indeed. Yes…indeed.
One more thing before I go, I have been keepin my ear to the wall lately and may I jus say…Velvet Revolver you rock my fuckin world. In case ya dint know, these guys are Guns ‘n Roses without the ego / Axl Rose. And in case you really dint know, GNR totally rocked, and they rock even more without the glittery diva / Axl Rose holdin em back. Its great stuff. Slash still knows how to work it and that cigarette still never manages to fall out of lips no matter how hard he bangs his head. Slash is a true pimp.
And Brady Said:
My heavens low but the songs the same
seems I’m always looking when I hear your name
you’ve been away but don’t leave this side
seen all of your faces you’ve tried to hide
Yeh it was a crazy party at Leo’s, yeah it was insane and dramatic, and thats more barf than I’d seen in a long time, thanks to reminding me what chunks looked like babe. 😀 Yes indeed. Well I’m not gonna say anything more bout what happend, if you think you missed out, I’m sure brotha dawkness will be havin another “get together” sooner than later. One thing I really remember bout that night was how much my friends were there. So before I go on I gotta give props to the following buds:
Meg
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you soooooo much for lookin after my girl, thank you for holding the bucket, thank you for reasuring the bajeesus outta me, thank you for makin sure we left ok, thank you for bein the great person you is.
Clinton
I don’t remember what you did, but I remember being hella grateful, cause you some kinda pimp Mr. Clinton, yes indeed. Yes…indeed.
Randy and Tom
The bouncers, thanks for offering your service, means a lot, thank you Tom for showing me anything is possible if you put your smoke on it. In case you don’t know what I’m talkin bout, Tom ripped the fuck outta the bitches jay till it was deader than the roach we lit on fire. And in case that didn’t make sense to you, lemme jus re-iterate, Tom repeatedly inhaled the marijuana cigarette until it was deemed “unsmokeable” by his peers. Randy who showed me pimps don’t need pimp juice or pimp sticks to have a pimp times. G’times fellers.
Anyway, that was Saturday right? Yessir I think it was, Sunday I got my axe back frerm me pops, and if you know shit about shit, you will notice that its a 1967 Fender Telecaster, kind of like the Marilyn Monroe of the guitar world, “beauty is timeless my friend.”
Now any sane person knows to stay away from the weirdo freaks in the jogging community who come out sportin the lemon-ish reflective from head to toe speed suit. However, I think I mighta one-upped those guys, cause I come home and see some kinda blue getup on my desk, so naturally I try it on, and proclaim myself : BLUE BULLET!!
Yeah enough of that jibba jabba. Now I gots to give yas what yall dun been waitin for. Matthew Eberts Hella Crazy Car Crash.
Cruisin down the alameda in his ’04
jockin the jocks and gropin his friend moes
he was goin to Brady’s to get the scoop, with his apparatus on the side of his hoop
but den, but den he dun HELLA flipped his shit
g’lord, g’luck that his friggin paw was the only thing he hella hit
good thing he had the good insurance and is invulnerable to being scammed
too bad this fatty truck was the one thing he rammed
Yeh, and jus so ya’ll be knowin, wasnt my boy Eeb’s drivin the automobile that was clearly decimated, twas his boy, who is my boy through the great chain of being…Anyhizzle, their both ok, but the cars still in the hospital. And thats the end of that chapter.
Year of the Book
Aragon Yearbooks…are very bad…yo I gotta fake I.D. though, and siggies for frizzies! Sign my yearbook and while your down there, check my bad pic ass pic on the FRONT of the sophmore page. Crazyness, insaneness, dawknessness is also on therr wiff me with Dallitos, yaya.
Yeh so its Thursday today, I hate basketball jus as much as I hated it on Monday and Tuesday. Ya know I signed up for the shit by mistake and I got all stuck with it. Im so bad! All awkward and as Nasty Nate put it, “unmofuckin – coordinated” said he din’t know white boys could do ballerina moves. So I guess I can’t be that bad if I’m gettin compliments like that! Wooty Woo! I usually end up strollin down the court and jumpin higher than everyone so I see what its like to touch the ball..mm hmm, its weird cause I wasn’t always this bad 😛 maybe its jus one of those things that goes with time..er hmmm
So I hella ran when I got home, tried to hit up that piece of ass treadmill, shit goes crazy if you run on it for more than like 5 minutes, so I bid it good day, and jet up the street round CSM, forgot how big the campus really is :P. I felted kinda awkward running alone, and I probably looked crazy too, cause I don’t conform to the typical running apparel, I sport the normal shorts anda normal tee, and I pimp the wear I wear em. And baby if crack kills, consider me a murderer. Iono meng, say whatchu want bout the jogging/running crowd, but I say we put those cycler pussies in their place. Werd.
Weekend is lookin pretty good from here, pretty pretty good indeed. Some dawkness? Some Sugah? Ehh ehh??
Wull im beat ese. Props to Ashley:
And…FRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Bittle Lit B-Z
Alo Superfreaks, freaky geeks, and kinky creeps, you know I’m busy, you hella know it. Not much to report though, I like posting when I got pics to put up herr, but you find me now picless. Damn im tired, not so wired, seemingly inspired. Wull I tend to talk about myself a lot on here, I say we talk about you. The mo puckin PEOPLE of NBHQ.
Talkin bout my boy Randy:
Randy’s my dog, the robin, and the michaelanjelo (when we played ninja turtles). Hes havin his Jewish confirmation soon, and he invited me to go, you know im goin, Randy’s my best friend, known em since preschool, pretty proud of em. Case ya dint know, Im no chia pet, if I had anymore hops I could touch my head on my ceiling when I jump, and easily demolish your scale. Randy on the other hand, is the fucking wall. When we were in preschool I was bigger than him, up until like sixth grade I was way bigger than em. Now hes like maxin out at like 270 (pounds) and flippin freshman upside down for lunch money, g’dam I’m so prouda that guy. Me and Randy meng.
Talkin bout my brotha dawkness:
Known my main mayonaise Leo for some time now, he be cold as ice, and he be lovin the rice. Only homie I know who doesn’t enjoy “his own brand,” kinda weird, but whatever, I dont like his brand either. If it were packaged it’d be like Shitsmellin-albaro’s or shitports. Yaya whatever, you my boy dawkness, you my boy. My brotha dawkness
Talkin bout Shahh-Rahhh Shell Fish:
Shell Fish is the girl for the fellas, shes really nice, the kind you take home to mutha, she aint no supa freak, she on the prowl along with Bobs, cause the guy she was with was a total dick anda half and hes a retarded ogre who gives all of us over 6 feet tall a bad rap. Were not all so bad Shell Fish. Yeah so if you want some Shell Fish for dinner, best hit er up online, get her screen name and directions to her house from me, she keeps the key under the welcome mat, but ya dint hear it from me, stalkers welcome.
Talkin bout the rest of the NBHQ’ers:
Thanks for still comin here, thanks for puttin up with the busyness, thanks for sayin bia…Bia
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