Month: November 2004

In Joy & Sorrow

Well I should be at the Warfield right now watchin this guy sing, and these guys play rock n roll music, I should be raisin my torch to “Fortress of Tears” I should be rockin hard to “Siginum Diaboli”…nope nope…not tonight, nor tomorrow night. POSTPONED!! Now usually when you think of an event being postponed, you think it’ll take place maybe a week, maybe even two weeks later right? Right??? Hoozaa boot FEBRUARY 28TH!! Why I ask? I don’t know why it’s postponed, probably overestimation of ticket sales, so if you live in the bay area, I suggest pickin up some tickets

Well asides from that, I gave my debate in english today, had to give my affirmative rebuttal on sweat shops, I wasn’t as nervous as I should have been, I’m not really sure how I did, Leo said, and I quote : “You sounded like…hella smart and shit at first, than uh…your shit got all retarded”. Gotta love critics right?

I didn’t go running today, first time I skipped it in weeks, I ended up sleeping from about 3:30 to 6:00, boy oh boy powernapping is my new sport. Woke up to screeching and ringing, from either inside or outside, I don’t know; the fucks outside were working hard “testing out” every single alarm my top of the line apartment complex is equipped with. So as I drifted in and out of sweet, sweet slumber I was greeted with a sampler platter of different shrill blips and clammering bells, fire alarms to that idiotic power outage alarm I told you about, and as if the stupid alarms weren’t enough you could hear the screwballs yelling back and forth to each other, “Ey bobby whats this one do?” I wanna be an alarm tester when I grow up.

So Kelsie sent me a link to this amateur photographer’s website, who has been snappin flashes at our girls water polo team for a few years now and he jus developed his latest batch, I share them with you now: Our dashing goalie, Alexa blocks the shit outta some other pug fugly opponenet, I don’t know about this shot but it kinda looks like Julia is drownin somebody, heres my girlgetting almost out of the water almost to her ass level, a physical impossibility for most, Meg pumpin shotty at the non-hotty, and heres another of meg, heres Michelle shootin, heres one of Asuka. I was lookin at some of the other schools this guy took photos of, and I gotta say we probably have the most attractive girls water polo team in the universe, jus take a look at the competiton

So its December already, November was cool…was a great month for NBHQ we were jus short of 10,000 different people that visited, hopefully we can hit that this year, got about 895638 hits thats damn close to a million! So be sure to spread the word bout the site, send me pics, send me funny shit, so this shit can get bigger. E-mail me at

Avril Lavigne is one ugly entity!
Single guy’s mind
JLO’s boob popping out
Fat man’s diary
Martha Stewart’s Prison Diary
Pregnant for 50 Years?
Pepsi Spice Project
Prison Modeling
Bring our soldiers home!
Smash your cellphone
Bring our soldiers home!
An island jus for dogs?
3rd Grade Geography Game
Smash your cellphone

Fer Sizzler

So this is the first post on the brand spankin new news script, lot more features, like word count, Antispam capabilities, and ya can’t forget this clean new look. I know it’s not totally stretched out, I’ll fix that when I fix it, but for now you can enjoy in all its squished glory.

So anyway, I felt that the bird was dry, but my wonderful Zia( who claims to read the site daily, and also threatend me if I posted that pic of her ) seemed to enjoy it. Did I mention I ate the dinner at my Nano’s (Italian for grampa I think), he can’t cutta bird like my Uncle, but boy can he inhale one. Dinner took way to long to get on the table, so I busied myself with creating a perfect boxing dinosaur etch-a-sketch drawing for which I received much praise and acclaim. I also ventured beyond the confines of my Nano’s “very expensive black iron fence” and into the vastness of his backyard Orchard with my other zia she pointed at stuff, I looked on, than I climbed up a tree By the time we were done with that jibba jabba we could see that the bird has landed and we could hear the angry spearing of the forks beginning.

Dinner was aight, once again those candied yams took the pie, hadda little coffee that tasted like cinnamon, made some funny faces with the cousins and maintained composure while the evil ankle nibbling shitdogs from hell jumped all over everyone.

So I went home with my Uncle William, he’s the good one, the one I get my height and positive traits from. Heez gotta flippin sweet pad over in Danville, hes got a flippin sweet workplace that he bangs buck with daily, complete witha warehouse of state-of-the-art audio visual equipment, server, and the 178 pound ball of tape oh and did I mention he has his own office…cause he does

First day there we took his batmobile-like Corvette over to Arioness Custom Motorcyle shop, where I was a witness to the supreme awesomeness that lay in front of me, they had some real nice stuff, I picked this one out for myself, but the prices were a little steep. Just for the record, my uncle is the shit.

So I took my camera to school on Wednesday and took some snaps and failed to post em before now so here I go!

Alex lookin funny in 1rst period science/physics class whatever it is, Adam flips me off, Alexa looks flattering between classes, Eebs makes “the face”, Evelynn looks hillarious, My boy Fahaad, John Ferrel with his blonde hair, Classic Grayson expression, John boy,Funniest photo I’ve taken inna while,
Leonard COX, Ricky, Kelsie’s old paperboy that got fired, Wong. And my pops sent me this portrait Allison did of me when I was jus a wee bia.

Britney Out-white-trashes herself
Aska Genie
Holy Ode to Bob Saget
Blatent Sexism is funny
How to throw cards lika ninja
Best MySpace Ever

Boxliftin, Football Spectatin, Slang Bangin Bia

First of all that drawing is badass, took me far too long to get it posted. So I dint go to school on Friday mainly because im far too fainéant and because im to fainéant to pronounce fainéant. So I spent my early hours sawin logs till my pop pop came by and called for my boxlifting expertise. He had 1600 pounds worth of African brochures to deliver to…Africa or somethin, so I helped em move what there was left. Filled the trunk with the shit, took about seven years offa the suspension and than we achieved white trash status when we bunjeed the shit together.

That wasn’t very funny or interesting was it…? Well neither is this: Central Coast Selection (CCS) Championchips for football were on Saturday, and by dang we were in it! Thats right honey bunches of Dons! Red and black coated the field against our baby blue and spoiled cream white opposition. Aragon VS. Serra, clash of the rich and richer. May I jus say that I was jittery with excitement, but that could have also been attributed to that shitty energy drink Kairon gave me. The game was pretty damn close the whole way through, till we went into overtime and packed the fudge outta the Serra boys and their spirit boys. We won, they lost we won, they baked cookies.

As for that Kelsie all the fellas tip their hats to, well she got invited to a team sleepover party where there were alledged accounts of massive hot tub abuse, and …well I guess thats all she told me about. Anyway I jus had to comment on that cause the invitation was jus too darn cute to overlook! Allah knows how much I like cute sundries. Oh and did I mention I took a pic of Kelsie’s ATM machine?….Oh.. I didn’t?

Funny lookin kid
Pepsi Twist
My idol
My pal and I
Anti – Bush Game
Another Anti – Bush Game
Download Eminem – Encore Album
Download new Beastie Boys Record
Download Evanescence’s shitty record
Local news: Bout that San Mateo guy who drives around in the truck with the abortion photos aka the sonofabitch guy
NBA Riot Footage!!!

I am the Bullgod you Understand?

Today was the day I spent conversing and rehearsing for this speech that I would deliver to you masses.
Now I could use this dark cloud to pull it over my face or I could turn it into steam and steamroll your asses.
My conceptions were conceived through hard hitting heat and cold running sweat
Some locks were made to be picked and this safe isnt safe, one more twist, thats my bet
One more turn, one less scream, one more turn, one less wrong,
Two more times and the voice is gone, two times and theres no more song

I like to listen to the Ghetto Boyz – My Minds Playin Tricks on me over and over lately, I play the beginning two or three times before I listen to the rest, I rewind it after about 8 seconds and listen to it again and again. I like when Randy comes over and we go to get chinee food and he orders crap chicken and tosses his penis mushrooms at me while I slap him with my pork fat. I think people that speed up as they drive past us in cars are cool, and I think its cool when people honk in tunnels for no reason. I think that it’s not cool when people try to trip me when I’m trying to run up a steep dirt hill because im liable to soil my chin, palms, and undergarments. But I still think pork is cool.

John Ferrel almost electrocuted himself in electronics today, I’m glad he didn’t cause hes a pretty cool dude who bangs his head on hard desks, so I’m glad hes alive and can / will do it tommorow. Heres to you Johnny Boy!

So this chic I used to see back in the day got in a little scruff witha paparazzi splooser, and her bitch asks WASSSUP? is a most questioning position, while Justin is doing this, Cammy jacks the camera and runs to the nearest pawn shop so she can hock it and buy crack to smoke with her friend Brit.

NOTE: Site should be fully functional by Monday, and should be kickin ass by the Monday after.

Very cool song, Sav C – Actions Speak
Ghetto Boyz – My Minds Playin Tricks On Me
Download Sean Paul – Dutty Rock Album
Download Jay-Z – The Black Album
Would you eat this?
Hobo’s rapsheet
Funny rock throwing game
Zoom in hella
The Tower becomes the Towed
Videogame SmutFunniest One
Pimped out bed

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