Month: November 2006

Borat! “Is a NICE!”

bor1.jpgI want to thank the Century 12 movie theater for letting me pay the ten bucks to see Borat : Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan or B.C.L.O.A.F.M.B.G.N.O.K as I like to call it for short. I had relatively high hopes for this flick given the abundance of manthongs, liphair, and incestuous behavior among foreigners seen in the trailer. Saying I was not let down would be an understatement. Borat succeeds at offending gays, jews, women, and of course his native Kazakhstani people. I don’t wanna ruin this epic piece of cinematic excellence for you but I must allude to the climactic moment in which two main characters duke it out in a skin on skin, lava-lamp like exchange of pushes and thrusts. This scene I speak of was what brought me to my enlightenment of funniness.  Never before have I felt my inner organs on the verge of rupture on account of my violent laughter/convulsions.  My only gripe with this instant classic is the hairy cock to breast ratio which I can approximate to roughly 6:0.  Aside from obvious lack of T&A I will supply this movie with the seldom seen 4/4 tits rating:


And now for some memorable quotes from the movie:

“I am very strong physique and I can hold a very large woman down for 3 hours…I am strong, I can throw rock at a gypsy from 15 metres. 10 metre if I am chained up.”

“This my neighbor, Nursultan Tuleiakbay. He is pain in my assholes. I get a window from a glass, he must get a window from a glass. I get a step, he must get a step. I get a clock-radio, he cannot afford. Great success.”

“My mother, she never love me. (Stifled chuckle) She say she wish she was raped by someone else.”

“In my country we say to let a woman drive a car is like to let a monkey fly a plane, very dangerous yes.”

Oh by the way, here’s a link to the real Borat.