The Raging Dumbass (douschebagitus-tardspazis)

Sometimes known as the compulsive hand-raiser, this lil fella can be observed leaning over and repeatedly asking his fellow classmate for help something or perhaps me may simply remarking on the presence of trees outside. Raging Dumbass is the reason why teachers take forever to explain their grading policies. Raging dumbass is the person who believes whole heatedly that he/she is the only student in class, therefore, when the teacher asks a rhetorical question, Raging dumbass feels more than obligated to offer a less than revelant answer. Raging Dumbass is the Rod Farva of community college.

Hyphy Squad ( macdrewannabea – speakerblownicus )

Next on the menu we have the Hyphy Squad. You assholes come in early just to occupy the nosebleed section of the auditorium, roughly 100% of you jerkoffs have the backpacks with the built-in speakers that sound like rhino ass blaring “That Go” on repeat. Your all loud. I know it’s hard to stay thuggin when teach is spittin bars about functions and exponents n shit. Thank god for the fusion of keek da sneak and jansport backpacks. Yee bitch.

Overworked, Over-Caffeinated Foreign Math Teacher w/ Tourette’s Syndrome (spazicus-manicuz)

God bless you man, your knowledge and understanding of elementary algebra is commendable, the same goes for your uncontrollable urge to spaz out and clear your throat and bat your chest with your wrist watch.  You work at three different community colleges teaching eight classes during the week, you stumble into class everyday like the fuckin Tasmanian devil on crack.  I have never seen you without big gulp-sized coffee in  your mitt nor have I seen you exhale.  You sir are a spazicus-manicuz.  Good day sir

I type this now with the fingers of a high school graduate, a man who would eagerly brandish his flashy new diploma around jus as soon as he would whip out his ass. Four years lived, and another chapter written in the greatest story ever told. I stood with my Aragonian brethren and lovely ladies one last time before I walked the line. Family was there, I appeased the parentals quite nicely I’d say. I posed a bit with the second family and the Christa. Sometimes I forget jus how big my cranium is until I try to squeeze into headware like a fat man in a little suit.

When all the names were read, every speech spoken, every Yi, Chong, Yee, Yip, Wong, Wu, and Wee was announced, I hightailed it into the gym, snagged my diploma and hopped in grad night bus that would take us to the boat which was equally tremendous. The atmosphere was seaworthy and bittersweet, I’m still thinkin I have school on Monday.. I will definately miss some things, my homie Matty E. who got himself into Cal Berkely a school I can hardly spell, I’ll miss his behemoth ass. Speaking of behemoth. I won’t miss everything though. I have never seen Ian smile like this.. Overall I’d say the boating expedition was a winner, from Kashi jumping through the celing during kareokee to the hypnosis. Good times.

I really must say “big ups’ to my man K-Dubb, not jus for the badass NBHQ shirts, but for lookin out for me and lettin me know about his righteous parties with assloads and assloads of people. I did the usual and scooped up the nearest cooperating female and yes, I was rocking an NBHQ shirt at the time. To say the least, “it was cracking”, Hey! CHAWLES was there too!

We went to Heidies Pies after to do some lines and huff a lil gasoline. Jus look what it does to Christa…It’s always good times with the broads.

The latest happening was our late night outing to the beach, in my car I carried the girl, the girl 2, and the bro of 14 years. I have greatly missed lighting everything on fire. CZIG was present, and we touched sticks, it was hot. Swell times meetin new cats and chillin with the oldies. Another buncha “big ups” to K-Dubb.

Cocaine’s a hellova drug

And so is Absinthe…

I tried my best to fool people into thinking I had hips and any remote control over their movement but still managed to fail miserably in contrast to this lovely couple of vivacious vixens.

Meg got her tongue pierced, she wouldn’t let me touch it, I told her my priest says its natural, but I accept that she has different views and I guess we can hold off on the tongue touching. The cracked out expressions must continue though.

So I’m a sweaty bastard, notice my facial perspiration after hopping around for a few minutes trying to pass it off as dancing. Now check out these scary motherfuckers Martin rockin a god damn trenchcoat in the god damn sahara desert climated gym. Wanna run into that mother at the 711? He’ll kill your ass then send his dog to come eat your face off.

• 11 year old mutha
• Worst Tattoos Ever
• Shittiest Theme Park Ever
• Longest She-beard

In case you were unlucky enough to not attend or if you were even unluckier being a junior or under let me fill you in: We are shipped off from school to the park in buses and then unleashed to go run around, skate with no pads, jump,jump, jump around, be emo, THE CHOICE IS YOURS!!!

For the most part I was rockin out with my ass out and pickin girls up and knockin others down.

Then began the waterfight in which no one was spared, not even teh teachers. I’d like to think we did the community a charitable service of watering their park lawn with gallons and gallons of fighting water rather than saying Rachel poured bottle after bottle down my hairy asscrack.

Did I mention I went to this celebration sportin my highlands shirt representin the c/o 1999 5th graders cause I like to do it big at events such as these.

I must say those 4 and a half hours of water soaked grabass were some of the best and shortest lived memories I shall retain, it wasn’t two blinks later that we were averting the school provided buses and cramming ourselves into Ashley’s dad’s suburban, Ian’s expression is menacing isn’t it?

We got back to school right as it got out and the jealous juniors were gettin out after pushin pencils and sniffing ass all day with plans to head over to the beach to sustain our funtimes. Now I must place a tidbit of blame on myself for not protesting when the Half Moon Bay beaches were suggested and me, feeling how I feel about Half Moon Bay should have ripped out the larynx of whoever uttered its ugly title. As soon as we got in our cars and headed down skyline we immediately noticed our almost tropical San Mateo weather whither into a nipple raising Half Moon Bay climate. Needless to say we hightailed it back to Christa’s pool and I swiftly exposed my tots picked up sommore girls ate some pizza and called it a kickass day.

Voter intimidation never rang so true

Also, my boy Dario issued out the following threat to any willing takers:

So remember to vote for me bitches, much obliged .

• The Gatorade Conspiracy
• Mad Thuggin
• The 10 Greatest Imposters
• Biggest Foreheads in Hollywood

Word on the streets is that my boy K-Dubb is gonna design the new NBHQ shirts, yeah I’ve seen what they’re gonna like, and yeh your torso is gonna beg to be covered with em. Please belee dat. Soon as K-Dubb shits the first batch out Imma start sellin em for like 6-7 bucks a pop whenever whoever. Except for Malchow. He can’t have one.

If your sick of NBHQ right now, your not alone cause it’s growin old on me and needs a face lift, with bigger boobs, and butt implants, and some big dumb fake lips for show. Expect a COMPLETELY new NBHQ.net comin real real damn sonofabitch soon. One with faster loading and shit that makes you pee in puddles. Also, the gallery is a tad fucked up at the moment, I’ll fix it, jus deal for the moment.

P.S. – Malchow WILL get a shirt I was jus kiddin

P.P.S. –

- NBHQ.NET History
- KIMMMMBOOOOO

Shit-on-Hillsdale and have a good time night continued with my first visit to Condon’s House. I dug. First of all, I came, I saw, I Pimped, jus to show the other dogs who humps the legs of bitches. I learned things that night,

1. Charles has a kidney of steel and a is pretty much immune to intoxication, and he could prolly kick my ass through a wall even if he ever was drunk.

2.Sasha is Vodka’s sissy bitch. She turns into Emily Rose after her shots. Compare.

3. This girl is fucking crazy. CRAZY

4. NPC can’t handle more than one girl.

I forgot to mention anything of last weeks dinner with E+A+I that turned into a wet tee contest that I would have won if I was in it. I got picked up like a big fuckin fish. And I got cloned, twice.

I’m takin a day off school tommorow and goin to the beach. Expect more killer pics and a post made of pure balls.

P.S. I upgraded the Photo Gallery, it needs a lot of tweaking graphically, but it seems way faster to me, lemme know what you think.

– Mullets Everywhere
– Simpsons Soundboard
– Hella Fabulous
– Useless Facts

Download the Divx version here ( 25.1 mb ) or get the Windows Media Player Version ( 17.9 ). Note : If the video does not play, install these codecs first, if that doesn’t work, go get a new computer, yours is broken.

Seriously though, check out the video. Not much else in the way of happenings…“Turtle squad” struck again last night when they coaxed me into eating a penny infested cookie, yes you heard me right, I bit down, and to my suprise felt my grill clank on a hunk of fuckin copper, well done ladies…well done. Other than that…I strummed my 6-string Stevie Wonder style, while Pinky and Tina waltzed…

I brought my camera to school last Thursday, and plan on bringing it for the last few days of school ( school gets out Thursday, June 2nd ), and in doing so, I captured my homie Josh, looking quite civilized. In the weight room, Jordan put up some mad weight, neck beard and all. A bunch of us tried to show off and curl the 45 plates, Carlos couldn’t quite pull it off. Pat made it look easy, I hit it, and Whipple came damn close and almost shit out his intestines. See the rest of the pics here.

So I got called to do another video game survey, one of those gigs that pays a hundred bucks while some paid suits feel you up for your opinion. My problem is that I don’t have an opinion cause I don’t spend my free time sweatin over a joystick into all hours of the night poppin Jolt shots and Red Bull, I’m postin bullcrap for you bias to read instead. Anyway, for the second time in a row, they didn’t need to use me, which is cool because I can only lie so hard for so long, and two hours of bee essing my opinion might not have gottan me the hun bills in my pocket. Long story : short, my pops and I took some rads shots, like this one of me pinching a street light. Heres jus a few of the ones I took, you can check all of em and more out here.

Well thats pretty much it for now, sorry this post is a little watery aside from the kickass video. Gotta go study for my weightlifting final and shit, I will take many pics this week, so try to dress as cool as this smooth operator, ok? Oh and, I have begun the preliminary stages of developing a new layout for NBHQ, I don’t think it’ll be anything fancy, a lot like this layout, jus different theme, gotta busy summer ahead .

- Listen to the new Game / 50 Cent Song
- See what I listen to
- Stinky Meat Project
- Potatoe Fish

Miss Ashley was kind enough to offer her abode as a beautification location and even supplied us all with mouth-watering, sausage ( jus what Eebs ordered ). Though it was far from a sausage-fest, lassies out the ass! Why heck! I dun even got me summa dem ladyfolk to dun do my dew so I don’t look like no foo. Meg looked constipated, but dashing nonetheless, Ryder musta rode in on the pretty train cause she looked nice, Natalie, shown here soon before she kept shit fresh with Sugar-Free Orbitz gum. Don’t think we didn’t pose though, cause we did, I’m talkin a lot, like…amultidude of pose shots. I posed with that Meg girl, I posed with my boy Eebs, posin everywhere…

Dusk was soon upon us and we began our short stroll up to the school, taking bitchin pics along the way, of course. Eebs and I employed our sheer size and imposing demeanor to power our way to the front of the line, ensuring our female company wouldn’t have to wait so long thus having more time to shake what they mommas gave em. The line was were it was at anyway lotta familiar faces, you know im down with NPC, ( cause you know me ), my boys : John & JoJo, oh and, you remember the rumors about this guy at that one dance? — There true. Damn Greeks.

After shootin the shit with my buds and buddettes for some quick minutes, we made it inside the outside, caught up with my comrade Cahill and his gal, Joyce, spotted Pinky’s girl, and even took a second pic that would put picasso to shame. Hella heads last were there I do declare, Carlos rated quite high on the pimp-o-meter, as did my boy, Fej. The setting sun made for some pretty righteous shots. Twas a nice dance indeed, I dig Luaus, and pigs, and hot straight-haired girls . I gotta say, it was a good dance, and I have a confession…JoJo emptied his piss gun on your lawn, sorry bias.

So I was gonnna make a whole post about this some days ago but lazyness got the best of me and here I am stuffin your little faces with it here and now. So CSM / College of San Mateo, hosted a free lil concert open to anyone who could afford the price of a ticket. They call it the Electronic Music Show cause it was kinda like a presentation of all the final projects of students enrolled in Electronic Music 101, which is cool, cause, I like things. Of course I invited miss Nat Queen Cole, and yes she is the same girl whose cholar bone I busted :S. The real reason I went was to go see Carlos’s band, Extinction or somethin, I wanted to get those guys on film. Instead, I ended up filmin a bittle lit of a bunch of the acts and I share the video with you now :

Oh, remember how I said I ran the Bay to Breakers? Well, in case there are any skeptics, check out the proof. These pics were takin with the cameras mounted at the 6 and 7 mile marker along with the finish line. Heres one more of me tryin to rep the NBHQ beater as hard as I can, and I do think those people behind me are nekked. thats my pops. This is a duck-billed platypus and thats a naked ass bear.

My pools heated, Pinky brought his sunburned ass neck over. He had the new Star Wars flick on DVD, so we watched that, I thought it was lotsa awesome. Although I’m not as big of fan as Sanchez here I made the nastiest smoothie ever, strawberries and milk…you’d think that be like…a milkshake or somethin right? Well no one told me it jus turned into chunky pink liquid ass. Ya live and learn. Anyway, one of Pinky’s many hidden talents is his insane ability to beatbox, like no one else that I know, so we made lil flick to showoff his skills :

– NBHQ History
– girlfriend fight simulator
– amish porno
– crazy ass star wars merch
– Darth Vader Can Read Your Mind!

Friday night was the biggest game of the season, our ladies squared off against the cattle from Hillsdale. Spectators galore, crowd goin wild cheerin for Aragon High School? Or ASHley? You decide. Either way, Meg added exclamation to the proclamation and hollered hardcore. I don’t know what inning it was because Mr. Chateloupe (of Chanteloupe field) forgot to pay his PG&E, but Ash’ms herself belted that soft lil sphere into deep right and ran around a buncha bases, all the way home, sav to say the least. This guy immediately got on the horn, probably to inform everyone in town about Ashley’s monsterous HOME RUN. Meg and Emily took a quick break from the intense cheering to pose for a quickie, and…if you look closer you’ll notice a Hillsdale Knight Varsity softball players waste size amount of of familiar faces. Hellova Night.

Welp, got Bay to Breakers in the mornin, gotta get my rest if I wanna beat me a Kenyan tommorow. Lookin forward to seein a buncha old, sweaty, naked dudes runnin around me and maybe I’ll run into this cool cat again. I can only hope tonight and cringe tommorow.

Fixed the news sizing / alignment issues and also tidied up the comments form so it looks all nice and clean, hopefully encouraging some of you mutes to spit some ish on NBHQ. So why dontcha try it out after you munch of some links:

– words most one sided fights ( video )
– wheres waldo? text edition
– Chappelle gone crrrazy?
– insult generator
– pimp my grill