Category: Parties

A Fashion Forward New Years Eve 2009


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Being the epitome of fucking fashion that I am, I decided to drastically up my level of chic to celebrate the eve of the new year in powerful style, and pushed the idea to the bro calvary to “follow suit”.  (eh?)  

And so, decked in our jacket/slacks combo we assembled at Mike’s spot for a meat eating good time or in Ally’s case, tasty veggie borger!  I did well to gain acquaintanceship with Sir Slug, the resident pug of the Klink pad.  I invite you to share the lol that I feel from looking at this wondrous image – here, we see the slug pug locked in epic gaze with Laura in what can only be described as rofflefull.  

The night wore on and the grains of 2008’s sand slipped away, we all did well to drain bottles of Fat Tire and I made more sausages disappear than a homosexual who has homosexual intercourse.  (noonprop8).  

A few more Fat Tires later I was getting awfully friendly with hoesafe, much like he was having a good go at my knee some months prior.  

After we were all sufficiently loaded up on animal bits and the average twenty-year olds  idea of premium booze we responsibly piled into the respective cars of sober drivers.  Reassembling at Courtney’s pad and evidently, ROLLIN’ FUCKIN DEEP SON.  

By this time, (11:00pm maybe?)  I was a bit passed standard sauciness and quickly approaching high school drunk.  If you’re wondering what this can look like on my face, allow me to present you with the following photo evidence : Exhibit A, Exhibit B, & Exhibit C

As many can atest to I am not a violent dude, nor am I typically overly confrontational and even when I’ve been hittin the medicine hard I like to think I do alright to not be “that guy.”  What I’m getting at is I pick people up.  Always.  All the time.  Always. Kelsey, who looks to be drinking what can only be green bean juice, I picked her up.  Jenny, picked her up twice, possibly relocating a hair or two of hers onto Courtney’s kitchen ceiling.  As for my lovely ass girlfriend…well, this aint that kinda website.  This, I had nothing to fucking do with.  

Cute-as-a-button girls are not the only potential prey, hoesafe got some manlove from yours truly too.  He didn’t like that.  Not.  One. Bit.  And the rest of the night he hid.  

Happy New Year – here’s the rest of the pics.

In Accordance With The Dictates of Reason

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Saint Patties Day ’07 was a bit of a bust, despite my best attempt of being green and mean the night will be remembered as the night I failed to celebrate my heritage coming home with unbruised knuckles and as many brain cells as I left with.

The same can’t be said for the evening at lovely Courtney‘s. The boys and I warmed up at Umpy’s house as a prelim. Brotha dawkness did what he does best, and faced the consequences dished out by the vengeful homeowner. Luckily his penis shielded most of the blow. We walked the streets in the cloak of night and into the pad of Courtney where everyone felt the need to pop shots elbow to elbow in the kitchen. I was quick to assemble with the fellas and strike a quick pose for the room full of adoring womens. Compare this pic with this one. Things started gettin nutty as the night progressed; Dawkness tried pinnin the tail on the Jenny and Dylan seized the role of the noise nazi.

Sashas partyThen there was Sasha’s, my favorite Russian chic. For this occasion I felt it necessary to come dressed with my favorite accessory, enjoy that corniness. she looks cute as a damn button there too. I fair well. So I spent the majority of that night bleeding profusely from the crater of the once proud pimple I tripled sliced with my fuckin Gillette Mach 3 turbo emo pain expression device razor. Half a roll of toilet paper later I was back in the game, beads of sweat clinging to each one of my ass hairs in the kitchen. It even looks sweaty in that picture. Sweaty Jimbo balanced shit on his head. Adam hosed puke off Sasha’s doorstep.

So I guess I never posted to the world about the aftermath of bambi colliding into my Celica, well it’s still in the family and I picked up a 1990 Toyota Supra, white, turbo, 5 speed, targa top, with about 105k miles. So I rock that pretty hard, its fast, its a tank and I love it.

What’s Been Up

beerpongI enjoy ping pong. I enjoy beer. Needless to say, I enjoy BEER PONG!  I can think of no better way to test limits of human athleticism than lobbing a ping pong ball ( or in our case, a ball of tin foil ) into a little red cup.  I have always been an avid spectator of this formidable sport, but on that fateful evening, I, alongside the mighty Chuck, made my debut performance after being brought up to speed by a quick tutorial thanks to Chuck.  From lob one I was hooked and Chuck & I made a name for ourselves as a stumbling force to be reckoned with.  The party that night was at my alleged twin‘s house whose brother, pictured here, was rumoured of penetrating the most renowned of manly organs with a cold steel rod.  Yes, yes, the boy pictured to direct right pierced his own dork…did I mention he’s still in high school?  Pretty crazy night all in all, although the playing of the Jenga kinda signaled the winding down of things…thus beckoning my immediate departure from the deadened scene.   I am thankful for my vehicle.

More recently I was at my girl Tory’s house who I have been friends with since the elementary school days.  The party was satisfactory to say the least, even had a little kumbaya sesh outside and a real big fuckin fish inside.  I was immediately greeted inside by a welcomingnbhqfans boob grab and then there was Dana who grabbed my hat & attention with her mammory glands fumbling out of her shirt, Danielle, my ebony queen was there, she recently got her booby pierced, ya better believe she showed me!  The Dubb was there, licensed to boss and blur vision with that flourescent striped shirt he seems to love.  As the night went on my NBHQ hat that my girl got me circulated around the party from head to head to headsThis pic should cracka smile, everyones cukoo for GUY DONG.

My hula girl girlfriend (on the right) borrowed my camera for a week when she went over to Hawaii for water polo and in doing so forced me to do two things I never wished to do and probably never will again.  Post anyones stuff other than my own & boesBORROW MY CAMERA so consider this me being a wonderful companion showcasing the works of mah luvah.  Heres some butts which are pretty cool, but also a troublesome / possibly wonderful indicator of my ladies possible bisexuality…then there was Exhibit B, C, D, and fuckin E!  Mahalo!

Pirates of Suburbia

bosses What’s better than pirates and a chilly keg eh? Yarrrr. Well this girl in the middle here hosted herself a full on amusement park-esque pirate theme party, complete with authentic pirate firearms, blades & plastic red cups. FTW. As usual, I rolled with the brosef Ian, but on top of that, big fuckin Randy the most thuggish, bossiest, hyphy train conductor of them all came through like a fuckin lightning shit storm from hell and sweat out hyphy juice from every pore on his manly body. And let me tell ya…he shook dem dreads alright, hard enough to look like “IT” from the Adams Family. The booty was up to pARRRRRRRRRRRR!!! Now, normally I rock out with my cock out for theme parties and come adorned in whatever the evening warrants, but on this eve, I felt that some mardi gras beads and a ass rag on my head would suffice. And it did.

This gal rocked my site on her arm, I wanted to bite it off and save it. Usually, I would say that the phrase “get a room” is overused, and a tad cliche, but in the instance of these two I’d say they need a room of a large accomodations.

Joe took a shot of god knows what, piss and vinegar maybe? Anyway, he cried like a bitch and died. The end.

During the latter part of the festivities I felt compelled to super lift miss Ryder into the night ago, not once but TWO TIMES!

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