Saint Patties Day ‘07 was a bit of a bust, despite my best attempt of being green and mean the night will be remembered as the night I failed to celebrate my heritage coming home with unbruised knuckles and as many brain cells as I left with.

The same can’t be said for the evening at lovely Courtney’s. The boys and I warmed up at Umpy’s house as a prelim. Brotha dawkness did what he does best, and faced the consequences dished out by the vengeful homeowner. Luckily his penis shielded most of the blow. We walked the streets in the cloak of night and into the pad of Courtney where everyone felt the need to pop shots elbow to elbow in the kitchen. I was quick to assemble with the fellas and strike a quick pose for the room full of adoring womens. Compare this pic with this one. Things started gettin nutty as the night progressed; Dawkness tried pinnin the tail on the Jenny and Dylan seized the role of the noise nazi.

Then there was Sasha’s, my favorite Russian chic. For this occasion I felt it necessary to come dressed with my favorite accessory, enjoy that corniness. she looks cute as a damn button there too. I fair well. So I spent the majority of that night bleeding profusely from the crater of the once proud pimple I tripled sliced with my fuckin Gillette Mach 3 turbo emo pain expression device razor. Half a roll of toilet paper later I was back in the game, beads of sweat clinging to each one of my ass hairs in the kitchen. It even looks sweaty in that picture. Sweaty Jimbo balanced shit on his head. Adam hosed puke off Sasha’s doorstep.

So I guess I never posted to the world about the aftermath of bambi colliding into my Celica, well it’s still in the family and I picked up a 1990 Toyota Supra, white, turbo, 5 speed, targa top, with about 105k miles. So I rock that pretty hard, its fast, its a tank and I love it.

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I enjoy ping pong. I enjoy beer. Needless to say, I enjoy BEER PONG!  I can think of no better way to test limits of human athleticism than lobbing a ping pong ball ( or in our case, a ball of tin foil ) into a little red cup.  I have always been an avid spectator of this formidable sport, but on that fateful evening, I, alongside the mighty Chuck, made my debut performance after being brought up to speed by a quick tutorial thanks to Chuck.  From lob one I was hooked and Chuck & I made a name for ourselves as a stumbling force to be reckoned with.  The party that night was at my alleged twin’s house whose brother, pictured here, was rumoured of penetrating the most renowned of manly organs with a cold steel rod.  Yes, yes, the boy pictured to direct right pierced his own dork…did I mention he’s still in high school?  Pretty crazy night all in all, although the playing of the Jenga kinda signaled the winding down of things…thus beckoning my immediate departure from the deadened scene.   I am thankful for my vehicle.

More recently I was at my girl Tory’s house who I have been friends with since the elementary school days.  The party was satisfactory to say the least, even had a little kumbaya sesh outside and a real big fuckin fish inside.  I was immediately greeted inside by a welcoming boob grab and then there was Dana who grabbed my hat & attention with her mammory glands fumbling out of her shirt, Danielle, my ebony queen was there, she recently got her booby pierced, ya better believe she showed me!  The Dubb was there, licensed to boss and blur vision with that flourescent striped shirt he seems to love.  As the night went on my NBHQ hat that my girl got me circulated around the party from head to head to heads.  This pic should cracka smile, everyones cukoo for GUY DONG.

My hula girl girlfriend (on the right) borrowed my camera for a week when she went over to Hawaii for water polo and in doing so forced me to do two things I never wished to do and probably never will again.  Post anyones stuff other than my own & BORROW MY CAMERA so consider this me being a wonderful companion showcasing the works of mah luvah.  Heres some butts which are pretty cool, but also a troublesome / possibly wonderful indicator of my ladies possible bisexuality…then there was Exhibit B, C, D, and fuckin E!  Mahalo!

What’s better than pirates and a chilly keg eh? Yarrrr. Well this girl in the middle here hosted herself a full on amusement park-esque pirate theme party, complete with authentic pirate firearms, blades & plastic red cups. FTW. As usual, I rolled with the brosef Ian, but on top of that, big fuckin Randy the most thuggish, bossiest, hyphy train conductor of them all came through like a fuckin lightning shit storm from hell and sweat out hyphy juice from every pore on his manly body. And let me tell ya…he shook dem dreads alright, hard enough to look like “IT” from the Adams Family. The booty was up to pARRRRRRRRRRRR!!! Now, normally I rock out with my cock out for theme parties and come adorned in whatever the evening warrants, but on this eve, I felt that some mardi gras beads and a ass rag on my head would suffice. And it did.

This gal rocked my site on her arm, I wanted to bite it off and save it. Usually, I would say that the phrase “get a room” is overused, and a tad cliche, but in the instance of these two I’d say they need a room of a large accomodations.

Joe took a shot of god knows what, piss and vinegar maybe? Anyway, he cried like a bitch and died. The end.

During the latter part of the festivities I felt compelled to super lift miss Ryder into the night ago, not once but TWO TIMES!

After recieving some serious R&R up in Tahoe with this girl, this caped crusader broke out the ‘ol $50 dollar, once worn, already ripping batman costume and barely picked up Joe (and apparently damn near cried in the process.) Our destination was Geoff’s place for the dress starting with a “B” party, which was elbow to elbow, boob to boob with scantily clad womens. There was a bumble bee who couldn’t resist my honey. I cracked open a brewski with my buddy ‘ol pal, meanwhile Christa’s in the kitchen failing miserably at trying to suckle away at the sweet coors light nectar. I ushered some youngins out the door with my massive meat stick. ENZYTE FTW! There was also a lil munchkin who thought he could jus slip in the festivities unannounced and stealthily. WRONG! Threw his ass out, and then Christa & Amanda jacked his license plate, the munchkin was less than pleased. Cops came later after maximum occupancy was reached and exceeded. All in all…good times. Big ups Geoffrey.

Matt Malchow. If Matt Malchow were a president, he’d be Babeberham Lincoln, if he were a dinosaur…Babe-o-saraus-Rex. I love this kid more than showers! He’s my boy for all times! I wanna have his and his towels with this kid. Anywhoo I have had the pleasure of kickin it at his pad the past few nights, spending time with these characters, and getting better acquainted with the infamous Labern and of course, plenty of Malchow. Ian’s homo erotic encounter of the night included frenching Matts solar plexus in a drunken homo stupor, it was such a release for Ian that he konked out right there on the floor, Malchow was so traumatized he took a shit on the coffee table.

The night proceeding, the same crew + new additions gathered around the table and spoke boisterous drunken fables, it’s not exact but I can aproximate that at least 47 thousand cigarettes were smoked during that 30 minute span sitting around that table, and as I type this now, feeling the second-hand tar stick to my lungs like day-old oatmeal, it was worth it cause I was with my buddy Malchow.

I’ve been doing some behind the scenes upgrades to the site as you may have noticed, like the Possibly Related Post feature which, at the end of every post, shows 3 similar posts that you might be into. I enabled Gravatars that show up as little pictures next to your COMMENTS that you should always be leaving. I also implemented a skin switching system that allows you to change NBHQ.NET’s look and feel with jus a single click. Expect more upgrades and posts daily.