Month: December 2005

An Ode to Mr Norris


Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse horses are hung like Chuck Norris

On the 7th day, God rested. Chuck Norris took over.

Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.

A ducks quack does not echo. Chuck Norris is solely responsible for this phenomenon. When asked why he will simply stare at you, grimly.

Chuck Norris doesnt believe in Germany.

If you want a list of Chuck Norris enemies, just check the extinct species list.

Ironically, Chuck Norris hidden talent is invisibility.

Chuck Norris eats transformer toys in vehicle mode and poos them out transformed into a robot.

Chuck Norris owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, and a green number 4 from Uno and a monopoly get out of jail free card.

One time while sparring with Wolverine, Chuck Norris accidentally lost his left testicle. You might be familiar with it to this very day by its technical term: Jupiter.

Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.

Licensed : NB Goes Mobile!


You heard right bitches, your favorite seventeen year old ridin shotty with mommma is on his own tearin up the streets. Consider yourself blessed if you see me rollin down the ElCo with an illegal passenger or five, give me a wave as I shoot past you doin the posted speed limit in my 24-cylinder ’93 celica spittin fire out my tail pipe. First night with my license, Pinky and I met up at top of the world and made out and shit, not a bad first night.

I haven’t taken so many pics lately largely because of the fat fucking tear on my cameras LCD screen so I can’t even see what the fuh I’m doin, and that shit aint copasedic lemme tell ya…Anyway, I manage, snappin some shots of my buddies of little or no gang affiliation; notice the empty thing of nachos in Jumbo’s hand:priceless.

My yearbook assignment was to document the Junior Class, and that I did, heres some female underclassmen and some more like Katie & Dana. Oh and I shaint forgot to include the classic Kelsey Ballard / Danielle Murray tongue2tongue naked makeout session; and heres my chic with Kristin, dunno if they were gonna make out but, it mighta been a possibility.

So Ally is the shit right? Yeh…she is, and so is her thizz face when she’s munching rug…I mean garden salad.

Oh and to Miss Lynn, that one pic of your ass has about a bazillion hits, more than any other photo in the whole gallery, which is more than 2,300 photos, BE MERRY!.

Work goes well, I like sitting at a desk and looking outside and touching big servers and wearing fly ass polo shirts, and workin with this poor sacka shit 3 hours a day 3 times a week, it’s family buidness bitch and it’s good times.

Fuck you Finals. Don’t study, eat these hotlinks instead:

The Chapelle Theory
Tom’s New MySpace
Kevin Federline School I.D.
Crazy X-Mas Lights
– ************Solar DEATH RAY************

Back With a Bang Bang Bang

Here we are with a brand spankin new layout, its gotta be the millionth one I’ve pinced outta my anus in the 3+ years NBHQ has been around. I do apologize for my prolonged absence, I’ve been workin hard and hardly workin over at Network Artist, poppa’s gotta earn his bread for Kwanzaa gifts right?

The other day I have watched a man pierce both his nipples in 5th period weight lifting class with nothing more than a rubber band, a safety pin, and some extreme testicular fortitude, I will have cell phone photos of that pronto.

I took my woman of seven months to a fancy dinner followed by an informal viewing of March of the Penguins (I would LOVE to hug a damn penguin), kinda shocking how good we are together, than again, sometimes she spills shit in the kitchen…

I also made a little collage to celebrate the new layout, I’m not gonna say im 100% satisfied with it so I jus might jus make me another, but check out this one first and use it for your wallpaper or somethin.

So the new layout isn’t anywhere close to being done, but mosta the links work, so enjoy yourself bitch.

Horrible Video Game Covers
Michelle/Ashley Wannabes
Professional Farters
For Kairon