Month: July 2004

High and Dry, Buffalo and My, My, My…

Well yer I jus gert berk frerm Tahoe, but first I gotta post boot some unfinished buidness.

First and foremost, summerschool is way over no more wakin up at the cracka crack of dawn (9:00). Lookin back on it, it wasn’t all bad, havin Randy as my own private chef was the shit, Big R’s got the talents. Although scarfin down jurassic omlettes on the norm does jurassic things to your cholesterol, I’m plumpin up quite nicely. Jolly good. Anyway, the last day of summa skizzle, I had my first babysitting job, the victim you ask? Little Whamo, I would respond. Now for those of you who haven’t been fortunate enough to make Big Whamo your aquaintance I would urge you to do so. But in case your skills of inference have gone like the wind Little Whamo is indeed the little brother of Big Whamo / Tim Swartz. The kids aboot three and a half, and didn’t stop moving for the few hours he was over. The solution? Whip out my old batman costume See Lil Whamo in action here (video).

So the same day Kelsie was over and I felt it necessary to give the gift of fruitball to her, and I must say, she looks pretty hot witha batting glove and bat in hand, and very dangerous. I’m sorry to say I don’t have any footage of the actual peach-bashing taking place, although you can take my word for it that my girl can blast some produce meng. Anyway, after about four minutes of concentrated fruitball action we had to refuel with a bagel (chocolate chip), and a cake. Three bites of the cake later, she had collasped on the couch, kinda weird how she sleeps in poses huh? 😛 Throughout that day my mom was actin a ‘G the whole time, gots ta be reppin 650 bia bia. Oh and if you notice her hand, we had to tape her fingers like that cause she can’t make that sign, har de ha ha. Oh and the hat you ask? Won that in Santee Cruz, at the Boardwalk, the ‘ol guess how fast yer gonna throw the third pitch, three guesses, and six bucks later, it was Kelsie who guessed the lucky 74mph and VOILA, the pimp hat was mine. **Forget what I said about not having footage heres da Sugah in action fakin me out (video) & swing anna miss (video).**

Ok so that was like three weeks ago I know, now lemme talk about the week I jus had in Lake Tahoe. Anyone who has every had the pleasure of truckin up to Truckee or bringin their sugar to Sugar Pine knows how bitchin of a place it is. The scenery is jus…(not to sound corny) breathtaking, everywhere you go your encircled by the immense woodlands and you can catch a glimpse of the crystal clear waters whereever you go. If you wondering where I stayed, rest assured (as I did) that our accomodations were more than suitable, and by more than suitable I’m talkin a 3-story cabin with TV’s in all 5 or 6 rooms, pool table downstairs, 3 decks, nice ass bathrooms, a deer head AND a trash compacter la cocina :D. As for the daily activities, well folks that all ranged from powering down Sugar Pine river inna inflatable raft to pretending to know how to wakeboard. Scopin stars wiff Eebs, jammin wiff Eebs, shootin pool with Eebs, doin it all with Eebs. The Barons were there the first day, so we gots to get worked at the table by Nick Baron himself. Yep, one thing that was a total trip aboot Tahoe or at least the wildlife, was the fact that there wasn’t a single squirrel, but the place was loaded with these lil Alvin, Simon and Theodre chipmunk fucks, and it was pretty crazy how many butterflies were outside chillin, Eeb’s theory is that it’s matin season, so the butterflies are jus dancin around till they find anutha supafreak to get down with. There were so many of these lil buggers around that some actually made there way in the house check out my video of em (kinda choppy).

It was my first time up therr to Tahoe, and I got a lot of firsts out of the way, like..1.) the whole thinkin I have the motor skills and/or coordination necessary to stand upright on a wakeboard being slowly tugged aboot by boat, it was cool anyway, and nah Eeb’s couldn’t get his 6’4 (and a quarter) ass outta the water either. 2.) I got to try buffalo wings, kinda weird how I’m almost 16 and my tastebuds had never been invited to the spicy buffalo wing party, thats the shame of the game meng. 3.) On our last night there I gotsta get my grubs on with some actual buffalo meat in the form of some gerd arse steak, but come to think of it, it was damn good eats the whole time I was there.

Another crazy dealio aboot Lago de Tahoe was the insane altitude and lack of humidity. I was NOT diggin that aspect of it, I prolly came across as the most jumbo spaz sportin nosebleeds, and …jumbo spazness. Oh and my doo! My precious hair, got all outta whack and got all straight & thin, prolly cause it was jus so damn dry outside than as soon as I step outside the car when we get back to good ‘ol Mateo it turns into this. Insane.

Overall I’d hafta say that Lake Tahoe with Eebs and co. had to be one of the most badass trips of my days, and bein there wiff my bro Eeb’s jus further amplified the bitchiness, and I think the only way to end a my 2 cents on the trip would be including this flattering photograph of Matthew Ebert knuckle-deep in his own rectum.

So that was than, and today is today, woke up as early as my dad was late to pick my up and haul me over to Tracy, CA to my Uncle’s pad so I could pick up this thousand dollar racing bike that I’ve been lookin forward to. On the way there we spotted this bloke on the road, and I instinctively tooka lil video of the wasian (white-asian-wannabe). Yeah and my cousin D-rel was therr as well cool cat if ya ask me, and my Uncle…well check out these pics of him in his dept of homeland security gear and try…jus TRY to tell me he aint the baddest mudda round dem parts. Yep, so we went Kayaking in the morning, and I went home with this bike crazy colors eh? I would concur.

Yeh so I hope your glad im back to posting, Pinky did his duty but I think its time he go on hiatus:


looks like king nicky the kid is up in tahoe with some homies so here i am again fillin in after a hard days of work and fun now just chillaxin
after i get off work i go up to king nicky’s house to help russel out with nicky’s madres computer but if i havent maid this apperent than ill say it now….if its not nicks computer than the its unworthy of his attention so his mothers computer is as expected a wreck so me n russel try to spruce it up a bit and in doing that russel kinna pucked it up so naturally we leave after that happens heh heh, dont worrie ill go back tommarow . but any ways im in randys house and he gets back from drivin somwhere and he shows me these perty lil brass knuckels so i snatch em up real quick and i was off back to my humble abode
this is pinky saying
(sorry if i dont have any pics im only filling in for king nicky)

postin it

Pinky signing in here for the big baheemeth bear man. Looks like hes been absent for some time now…..lazy bastard.
any-who, check this shit out, i had to get an i.d. for this G.E.D. like test im taking cause for anyone who knows me knows i dont have much luck with high schools and with that i haven’t had a school i.d. since the 8th grade. And at my tender age i have yet to get a lisence and the bastards dont accept S.S. cards so i go to the D.M. fucking V. to get my California Identification card and they say i need a actual copy of my birth certificate and to no surprise of my own my dad is cheap so only has a copy of it….lost the original apparently. so i say ok n go to city hall looking to get my certificate of birth and they so very politely tell me I NEED A FUCKING I.D. TO GET MY DAMN BIRTH CERTIFICATE!!! whats the bulldookie. So finally i ditch that whole crusade entirely and look to my other options. So i go to the school district office n they tell me i have to go up to the continuation school in san fucking Bruno im think how the fuck am i gone get there then i realize my mother is out of town and i just so happen to have the key to my busted van and just so happen to know how to drive….well better than nick anyway :). I hope in my hoopty van and roll down to peninsula high school n get a make shift i.d. card so i can get my ass up at the but crack of dawn to attempt to pass a test to get me out of the hell they call high school
uhg, and im spent
this is pinky saying
peace out cub scouts

Ya’ll Jives Missed Out

Well as promised Imma tell my peoples hows it gone, and how it be, and how it goes. It gone well, this past week has been the shit, my pops took me and the sugah to go see a friend of his by the name of Jim Campilango, good musician, good guitar player, and he came up to our table and said I had nice eye lashes. Well alrighty J-boy! Did I mention that it was a restaraunt too? The kind that serves you those ridiculously small portions for billions of dollhairs, check out the menu, I got the dollar-bill sized pork chop in case you were wondering. And in case you were wondering what we woulda looked like if you creepin around upstairs takin birds-eye pics of us at the table, I think it woulda been something like
this, and in case you wondering what it would have looked like if our waiter looked exactly like me and went creeping around in the shadows of the restaurant, it woulda looked something like this.

So, having Mr. Campilango entertain us that evening was pretty bad ass. And remember I told ya fools boot my little getaway to Santa Cruz? Well I went, with my girl, it was ggreeeat, but I was too busy bars, hangin out with the locals, enjoying the scenery, and worship to take any pictures :S. And in case you were wondering, your girlfriends shorts make for great rasta gear. Did I mention we stayed in my aunts studio; so your wondering where we slept eh? Well well, we practically had this whole place to ourselves, yeah my back still kinda hurts for laying on the lumpy part of the lawn, but it was worth it.

Imma finish this post later, but comment more

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