Well first, second, and third of all, I’m 18 so expect a sharp revenue increase for porno, lotto tickets, and low quality hotel rooms! An ample reception was held at my grammas, complete with a coconut cake shaped like a shitting dog, a clown, and a birthday strangle from Pinky. Brosef and Hoesafe paid their respects to me by having me waken up, and lured into the front room, before me stood a 50″ Plasma TV screen. My first thought was females, but both the E, and the A have traveled outside the confines of Cali and are doin their own non-community college thing…Whatev. Anyway, before I could come up with thought #2, a god damn nurse and a god damn fairy popped outta that box like fuckin Jack. A happy birthday indeed.
San Mateo County Fair jus came through this great town, Pinky & I made it a point to sneak in every night and rob the community of the 18 dollars a night they would have gained on a nightly basis. Fuck street upkeep. Pretty much every night we went, I ended up totally forfeiting any financial gain I would have made by emptying my wallet on 8 dollar mutant turkey hunks and orange fuckin juliuss that still taste like liquid orgasm. Basically for the week and a half it was in town, the fair drew me in every night religiously, every night the contingency plan for entry and possible escape got more and more intricate and not once did we have run-ins with the local carney watchdogs. 6’4″ stealth ninjas FTW. The rides were comparable to feces but we still haggled our way on them despite our lack of tickets or frugality (look that one up), the gravatron for instance relocated my bowels up into my esophagus as shown here. There were goats. There was PISS, and it was enjoyed in the name of Hoesafe.